Working 9-5

Well in my case working 7:30-4:00. I am a mom and I work. Working mom, me. I have to work, there's no way around it, and I don't feel the need to make excuses for myself about it. Yes I miss out on things in Eli's life because I'm not with him 24/7. He did ween from breastfeeding sooner than he might have if I stayed home. Do I feel guilt about these things? Of course, I feel guilty about a million things in reference to him. I feel guilty about any pre-natal vitamins I forgot to take while I was pregnant, I feel guilty for laughing so hard that time he peed in his face, I feel guilty for getting so frustrated on nights when he cries through dinner and then poops in the bathtub. But on the other hand I'm helping to put a roof over his head, clothes on his adorable back and food in his rotund little belly.

I've been thinking about this more and more as we gear up for baby number two. Is it right for me to want another baby when I can't stay home all the time and mother the one that I already have? Shouldn't I curb my selfishness and wait until it's feasible for me to be a stay-at-home-mom? I don't know that there will ever be a time that I don't have to work and I know I want more than one kid. But is that fair to the kids? This is the battle going on in my head today after a stupid inconsequential remark on my message board made me a lot angrier than it should have. And there's always that nagging voice in my head that tells me I might be bored sick being a stay-at-home-mom, probably not, but maybe.

For me I guess it boils down to the necessity of the situation and my belief that I am a good mom. That Eli is well cared for and loved and that when I come home at the end of the day he's happy to see me and he knows who mommy is. I shouldn't let other people make me feel guilty, whether that was there intention or not. I'm rambling. If you made it through this diatribe thanks.