Son...

3 AM is not the proper time to drag both mommy and daddy from bed and eat cheerios in the living room. It is also impolite to cling to mommy's leg and scream like a banshee when mommy tries to leave the room; what has daddy ever done to you that was horrible?

Son, when you are fourteen I am going to get you out of bed and alternately scream in your ear/attempt to fall asleep on your face/giggle at the dog at 3 am. Let's just see how you like it.