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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

he's just mad cause he cant hit it

so last night at work i had to cut off my friend katie. katie is 5' nothing and weighs 90 pounds, but she can drink everyone i know under the table. so my pit bosses problem wasnt that she was too drunk, cause bitch could have drunk a lot more, my pit bosses problem was that she was drinking with a dealer who wast her husband. he said it didnt look right. i told him that being the moral police when you work in a casino is pretty much a moot point. he didnt like my insolence. one of these nights im going to mouth off to the wrong person. luckily the gm adores me. and why shouldnt he, im awesome. katie and tracy and i are going to drink there thursday night. i think were going to get asked to leave. but thats a chance im willing to take. i really didnt have enough fun when i was younger, i was too busy being the good kid. so now im going to have fun. whenever the opportunity presents itself. even if its like the night i got entirely too drunk and ended up throwing up behind the 7 11. embarrassing yes. miserable in the morning because i was still in the restaurant and had to serve people eggs. but worth it.
my best friend and roommate is 8 months pregnant and im getting more excited by the day. i look at pictures of newborns and almost start crying. i want one of my own half the time, and then i realize how much better its going to be just to hang out with hers. its not like im dating anyone viable. or like you could call what im doing with phil dating at all. and the other prospect is a bi polar ass. one second were down and hes all playful and up on me. the next hes ignoring me. its like high school. and while i didnt have a lot of relationships in that era im still too old for that bullshit right now. so im being high school right back and ignoring his ass. kind of like ignore him before he ignores me. and he has a gut. and weird sideburns like hes trying to imitate aj from the backstreet boys. he's from miami so maybe he is. or maybe hes just got dissociative identity disorder and not all of his personalities recognize my inherent hotness. even when im shaking my pantyhose clad ass in his face. thats the theory i like best. the one that sounds the most soap opera.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

welcome to emily

So. this is me. i live in las vegas, im 23, im a cocktail waitress. all of this is not as glamorous as it sounds. vegas, when you live here is just like any other city. only less safe, more roaches, and there are slot machines in the bathrooms at gas stations. there are slot machines everywhere. anyone who's ever flown in has seen the mini screened in casinos by the gates. and people actually gamble there. losing their money before they can even get checked into their hotels. and i dont cocktail somewhere on the strip. i dont even work at one of the big local casinos that line the main roads here. i work at a tiny little locals casino that attracts mostly old people and rednecks. the thing is that its perfect for my training. and i like that the other cocktail waitresses are older. one of them sweats profusely and wears a knee brace. the head cocktail waitress is about 40 and wears her hair in the 80's style helmet and dyes it a flaming red never found in nature. it is a color that shouldnt be found in nature. compared to the others im pretty hot. i work the graveyard shift cause im low gal on the totem pole. graveyard is 1 am to 9 am by 6 am theres pretty much no one in the place. so i talk to my bartenders and stand there with my shoes off. im tall and have always been in the habit of wearing flats, otherwise i tower over any guys that might come a callin', and the heels kill my feet.
i like vegas though. which is good because i moved here from pittsburgh pretty much on a whim.