He's just a fast food knight

Emily's Moving

2009-03-12T14:34:00.001-04:00

I'm moving the blog, lock stock and smoking barrel to:
http://emilycleone.wordpress.com/

Please come visit me!

Spring Fever

2009-03-05T12:56:00.002-05:00

Today I'm having a hard time not breaking into song. On the way to work I had a five minute conversation with a stranger who was waiting for the bus, the whole city appears to be in a good mood. I think I know why:
Just look! Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

This is pretty good too, I guess, but it's not five consecutive days of warm weather that allow me to escape toddler cabin fever.

On Sunday morning I gave Eli his very first lollipop. He liked it, that face was because he thought I'd try to take it away. Do you think his hair's getting a little out of control?

We had a couple nice days last week too so young sir and I went for a few walks around the field of bloom. Mostly he enjoyed being out of the house.

But he also really wanted to dart into the street and when I wouldn't let him (I know, I know mean mommy!) he threw himself onto the sidewalk and had a fit.

I think he looks a bit like a dying cockroach.

Hey Universe...

2009-02-27T15:15:00.002-05:00

Right now I'm not entirely pleased with you. To perk myself up I will watch this video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNCe37JmcP8&feature=related
approximately 800 times. When the video's worked it's magic I'll update the blog.

Where-in I Reveal Information You May Not Want To Know

2009-02-20T14:54:00.002-05:00

Consider yourself fairly warned.

In my on going quest to give Eli a sibling I've been seeing a fertility doctor and having some tests done the past month. I've had a regular exam, two blood draws, and on Wed and Thurs a sonohystogram and a hysterosalpingogram. Everything was normal until yesterday when the HSG showed that my left ovary is one big mass of adhesion's. That darn left ovary just don't work y'all. And you know I'm not freaking out about it. Actually I feel pretty OK, at least I know that there is something wrong and I know that it's not something so drastic that I'll never have kids. I do still wish it had turned out Jason was broken just for the joy of taunting the love of my life. The love of my life who was very sweet yesterday afternoon, he took Eli out to lunch and to pick up his paycheck so I'd have quiet house to rest in (the HSG was not the most comfortable of tests) and he let me know that he thinks maybe it's cancer. Don't worry, it's not, Jason thinks that everything is cancer. If I get a bad cold he wants to take me to E.R. it's kind of adorable in a way.

So I'm not really sure where we'll go from here on the baby making front, I have a big meeting on March 7th, but I am fairly certain that Eli will not be an only child. And that makes me happy and a bit less frantic.

On Valentine's Day and Two Year Olds

2009-02-16T14:56:00.005-05:00

On Saturday, when Valentine's Day actually occurred, Jason worked a double. Last night we decided on a whim to have a belated date, and since it was a whim we didn't have a babysitter lined up. But we figured that Eli had been good all day, no meltdowns and he'd had an early nap. We thought "hey he'll like getting out of the house!" So delusions in order we walked to the sushi/hibachi place near our house that we've been meaning to try.

Possibly things would have gone OK if first thing Jason hadn't walked him over to see the pond full of goldfish and koi fish (fyi when I think about how I almost named my child Koi I blush a little and blame those powerful pregnancy hormones that I hope to experience again some day soon). Eli is very into fish and after getting a gander at these lovelies there was no way he was just going to sit passively in his high chair. We put him in the chair, gave him sippy, goldfish crackers and a toy. He was pacified until our food came which is how it usually works. I gave him a cucumber roll and his chopsticks, he loves chopsticks and this usually does the trick, sadly I underestimated the lure of the fish pond.

Our Valentine's Day dinner was eaten in shifts, one of us would eat a few rolls while the other would stand with Eli and keep him from leaping into the pond to be at one with his new friends. Trust me when I tell you it was very romantic. And when we put his coat on and Jason picked him up to leave he let out a mighty shriek that guarantees that if we ever go there again it will be sans toddler.
Toddler Eli may be just as adorable as infant Eli.

But infant Eli was a lot more pleasant to take out in public.

2!

2009-02-02T11:52:00.044-05:00

Dear Eli,

Mommy is having a hard time believing that you're already two years old. I'd swear on a stack of bibles you were just born about five minutes ago. One was a big year for you sir.

At first you didn't seem that thrilled to be one.
Maybe you were just mad that mommy was taking pictures of you instead of getting you out of your bed.

But then we gave you cake and you decided that maybe being one wasn't all that bad.

At the beginning of the year you still had no neck, you were also very cautious with your new found walking skills. You went very slowly and very seriously and nary a bruise did you get.

You and daddy took a lot of naps together. Probably you and daddy are at home napping right now while I type this.

You were adorable in the bathtub and didn't hate having your hair washed nearly as much as you do now. Perhaps that's because you had so much less of it then. Also you weren't so likely to pour big cups of water on the floor.

Sometimes you declined to smile for the camera. That was OK.

You went to the zoo and loved the aquarium.

Being a curious young man you decided to try a taste of your sand box. It may look like you weren't thrilled with it but you kept eating it all summer long.

Around May you went through a brief phase where everything was a cape.

And you took a lot of naps in your car seat and woke up to find yourself at Target. I think this makes you a pretty lucky boy. I wish I could wake up at Target a few times a weekAs it got hotter you had a lot of fun playing outside. I never realized just how precious those afternoon hours of play were until the cold set in this winter.

You visited Aunt Jennie at the Daily News and posed for some fancy photos.

In honor of our nation's independence you doffed your hat.

And mommy was delighted to find out you had inherited her love for swatting flies. Nothing cracked you up like seeing mommy trying to squash a bug.

This summer you drank a lot of pool water. Luckily you didn't get salmonella.

You napped very very hard.

And you laughed a lot because life is very funny when you're one.

We got you a ball pit and you were crazy about it, just check out the look in your eyes. That's one crazed expression. Sadly it barely lasted a week before it popped but you still have all those balls. And quite the arm to go with them. I figure by the time you're three you'll be pitching for the Pirates, they could use some talent.

You had your first sushi.

And got very good at using a fork.

On a second trip to the zoo you weren't particularly interested in anything.

But you sure loved running around. You're pretty fast for having such little legs kid.

Throughout the year your face lost most of it's baby roundness and you just got more and more handsome.

Mommy found you especially charming when you were sleeping.

A trip to the Goodwill yielded your first tricycle. Your feet didn't quite reach the petals but I have high hopes for this summer.

You started eating apples like a big boy.

We visited the Carnegie Art and Natural History Museum.

And the Andy Warhol Museum. Clearly you're already really into art.

Fall came and you loved playing in the leaves.

At Halloween you were a fetching kangaroo.

But you found trick or treating exhausting!

Eli you're a funny kid, you make mommy laugh every single day.

And you're so good looking that it hurts.

You were slightly more into Christmas this year. But not enough to really get it yet. I'm fairly certain that you still have no idea who Santa Claus is or what he does. Thanks to The Nightmare Before Christmas you may refer to him as Sandy Paws for awhile.

I made you endure a pretty long Christmas card photo shoot.

Fairly sure it wore you out.

This year you did a bang up job opening up your presents.

And spent the day looking nerd-tastic.

January seemed extra long this year, but you didn't seem to mind.

In fact you love the snow.

Maybe you'll be the first winter sport enthusiast in the family.

Eli you are a handful. You're naughty, defiant and willful, you drive mommy and daddy crazy and test our patience daily. We firmly believe that you've been completely in the terrible twos for quite some time now. Thankfully you're also smart, funny, sweet, cuddly and loving. I think we'll keep you around; and maybe try to slow time down a bit.

Spaces!

2009-01-26T12:45:00.001-05:00

I swear that I am putting an extraneous amount of spaces between paragraphs and blogger is just ignoring them and lumping all my words together! It is infuriating me.

Monday, Monday

2009-01-26T12:22:00.002-05:00

I don't know if you're aware but the Pittsburgh Steelers are in the Superbowl this year. This is a BIG deal. When I walk to work I pass houses that have been decorated in support of the team.

I love this window. It makes me smile every morning. I'm going to celebrate the Superbowl by eating. I'm making football food, chicken wings, buffalo dip, potato salad and cornbread. If, God forbid, the Steelers lose at least my stomach will be full of fatty goodness.

Saturday while my landlord was addressing the problems with my plumbing Eli and I went to run some errands with Suz, on the way back Eli fell asleep in his seat. He didn't budge when we brought him in and slept like this for over an hour.

When he does decide he feels like napping he naps hard. Yesterday we both fell asleep for over two hours which was fine with me this weather saps my will to do anything but eat and sleep. Hibernation mode.

My plumbing is finally fixed and I can flush my toilet, run my sink, do dishes and laundry to my hearts content. Unfortunately he had to literally sledgehammer up the cement floor in my basement and I now have two fairly good sized holes down there til he gets back to fill them. My main concern is that bugs are going to get in. Bug invasion terrifies me even when my house is not holy.

I've been getting a lot of reading done and can wholeheartedly recommend The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, American Wife and The Corrections which I haven't finished but already love. There are six more books on their way to me from Amazon, I bought two besides the corrections at Goodwill and I have a few from Christmas waiting to be read. Also I fully intend to buy more with my tax return. The original plan was to buy two more bookshelves, now I'm thinking three might be a safe bet. Have you seen my dining room/library?

I'm Looking Forward

2009-01-23T13:20:00.004-05:00

To not having to wear these boots anymore. I want to be able to wear my flats without getting my feet soaked and frozen. There's a few more months yet before that will happen and it's starting to wear on me.

Eli and I have been having a lot more inside time than what we'd gotten used to, luckily this change has coincided with his attention span getting a lot longer. Eli's a movie fan.

Here he's watching Aladdin and clearly something very serious is taking place on screen. The Land Before Time continues to be his very favorite movie; he's started making dinosaur noises and the other day I caught him making the same faces as Sara the tricerotops. Since Eli's so attentive now I've decided it's time for him to see his first movie in the theater! I'll be taking him to see Coraline http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO3n67BQvh0 don't worry, Eli does not scare easily.

The young sir is also enjoying this weather a lot more than any of the grown ups in his life.

The Christmas sled is a hit. I exhausted myself running around the yard pulling him behind me. He was laughing and after a few passes I was gasping for breath. My throat got that raggedy feeling that's reminiscent of running the 60 yard dash in gym class. Mama's out of shape.

This really was the most snow we've had in years and I'm glad Eli had some quality outside time, cabin fever in a not quite two year old is not attractive. This kid has a whine that makes me want to drive a screwdriver into my brain.

My basement plumbing has STILL not been fixed and I get more annoyed every day. I just want to do laundry without going to the laundromat. I despise the laundromat. When I was 20 and lived in the Northside I would put off doing laundry for as long as humanly possible; sometimes I'd buy new stuff to delay the trip longer. But eventually we'd have to go so at two or three a.m. we'd venture to the 24 hour laundromat in Oakland and use a whole row of washers. I always liked those trips once I was there, so warm and the big comfy couches and lots of magazines I'd never read before. The two tiny laundromats in Bloomfield offer none of those charms and there's the added joy of Eli who finds the washers and dryers fascinating but loves to touch everything. All of this rambling is basically to say that if my landlord does not get my plumbing fixed this weekend I'm going to murder him.

Pro & Con

2009-01-20T12:53:00.002-05:00

Cons:

My dog has destroyed my carpet and now i get to try to fix it before my landlord freaks out

Said landlord can't get my basement to stop flooding every time I do laundry and refuses to hire a plumber

I will now be hiring a plumber with my tax money when it comes

I got my work computer fixed but now it won't load pictures, not even adorable pictures of Eli enjoying his sled

I've got the winter blahs

Cons:

We have a new president!

Eli is very very adorable

I found a dollar in the parking lot

Cheese Face

2009-01-12T12:32:00.003-05:00

All the talk on the news on Thursday and Friday was about this big storm we were supposed to get. More snow accumulation that Pittsburgh has seen in years! Below you can see Eli in this big snow:
That's right not even enough to cover the grass. And this was taken on Saturday when it rained all day, cold wet annoying rain. Since we're experiencing some major winter blahs and cabin fever at my place I decided to take Eli out anyway; and just hover over him with an umbrella while he played.

As you can see he liked it. Yesterday morning we walked a few blocks down to get brunch and he insisted on only walking on the parts of the sidewalk where there was snow. He's much more of a fan of the winter weather than his mama.

See that ridiculous face? That's the face that Eli makes now when he sees the camera. I'm pretty fond of it and plan on taking a lot of snapshots so that when he's a sullen teenager I can remember what his smile looks like.

Charming

2009-01-08T14:03:00.002-05:00

Last night I was late with dinner (my fritatta just wouldn't firm up) and when I finally put it on the tray he clapped and said "yea!" I laughed because it was adorable but part of me thinks he was being just a little bit sarcastic. If he was he probably got it from me and I'm very proud.

And just now I called home and Jason put him on the phone and we had our very first interactive phone conversation:
Me: Eli do you want to watch the dinosaur movie?
Eli: Yesh!
Me: Do you want daddy to put it on right now?
Eli: Yesh!

He's such a big boy. And now Jason has to watch The Land Before Time, again.

Snarky

2009-01-07T11:32:00.001-05:00

I'm having one of those days where I'm just a crank for no reason. This is making me smile:

http://quotation-marks.blogspot.com/

Nothing like laughing at others to bring joy into your own life.

Dear 2008

2009-01-05T14:59:00.002-05:00

Every year just goes faster and faster and before I know it it'll be 2025 and Eli will be 18, leaving for college and never calling unless he has dirty laundry or an empty wallet. If you type "Is time going faster" into google you get 819,000 results so it's reassuring that I'm not the only one feeling this way. But really 2008 I hardly knew ye.

This year I made significant progress on my cooking, I confidently call myself a good cook and will try almost any recipe. This year I hope to branch into bread making--without a bread machine. I also want to try to buy part of a cow and part of a pig from a local farm so that we can have organic meat all year round. If that actually happens surely you know and see pictures of all the lovely white wrapped meat.

This year Elijah got a lot bigger. He no longer looks a bit like a baby; my little guy is a real kid now. And while he was the most adorable baby ever he's possibly more adorable now that he has such a definitive personality. Unfortunately for my ability to discipline I even find him adorable when he's being naughty. I'll try to work on that in 2009 too.

I got a lot of reading done this year, and not just the Twilight series which took up a good bit of my life this fall. Book crack it is! Some very good non-Twilight books:

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon

The Things They Carried by Tim O' Brien

Lost and Found by Carolyn Parkhurst

The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly

I need to look at my shelves and the floor by my bed for more, 2008 was a good year for reading. Maybe this year I'll start using the virtual bookshelf and put it on here so that next year I won't draw a blank on what I did all year.

This year, for probably the first time in two years, I found new bands I like which excites me because I was starting to think I was my mom and would only listen to what I'd been listening to since I was 21 forever. That said I recommend City and Colour, She & Him, The Honorary Title, and Emiliana Torrini. on a side note Emiliana is a very fabulous variation on my name.

I did not get my house clean or organized this year and I really really really want to work on it. I need outside pressure. Perhaps a social worker visiting weekly and threatening to take Eli if I don't comply? Any ideas about cleaning would be much appreciated; even if they end up being ignored.

The biggest thing of the year is also the thing that doesn't feel a bit different. I guess getting married doesn't make much of an impact if you've already been living and parenting together. It does feel good that it's official just not a bit different...

I spent more blogging time on Christmas than all of 2008. I'm not sure what that says about the year.

Picture Pages, Picture Pages

2008-12-31T12:34:00.005-05:00

I didn't take quite as many pictures as last year, getting Elijah to sit still for a good one is hard work! Still here's the holiday pictorial.
Eli putting out food for the reindeer, he won't remember doing it but this picture will stand as proof.

I ordered a lovely ornament on Etsy to commemorate the wedding.

See how cute! And the very next day I broke it. I've already ordered another one from the seller and I'm not even opening it when it gets here!

Jason and I have decided that Christmas Eve dinner will always be Chinese food. And the night before Thanksgiving is for pizza.

Jason was cleaning up the dining room and he called me out to show me that he'd wrapped the ribbon around the tree. He was very impressed with himself in an adorable manner.

Presents!! From far away you can't tell what an awful wrapper I am.

"What's this? New book...oh I like this book mama, let's read it every five minutes!"

Big truck from his Grand's in Florida, he's very enamored of it. Jason is not because it's incredibly noisy. And it has hydraulics. And lights up.

Do you know what's inside that package he's flourishing? It's a recorder (maybe you know it as a flute-o-phone) grandma Ros thinks she's soooo very funny. Thankfully he doesn't know how to blow it. But I do and I also know how to call grandma Ros on the phone and blow the damned thing into her ear.

Hot wheels!

My mom with the creepy doll she bought for Providence. It makes Chewbacca noises. And it scares me.

The hubby wearing clothes from me that actually fit him. I'm of the opinion that he looks rather handsome.

Eli & Dencey playing with the Mega-Block wagon from Aunt Amy and Uncle Josh, it may be his very favorite gift. Besides Where the Wild Things Are of course.

Watching Muppet's with Uncle Marty! He surprised me on Christmas Day which was a very lovely present.

A demonstration of just how hard it is to get him to hold still for a picture. Look at that awesome little flannel shirt that his Auntie Jen got him, who knew anyone could look that good in plaid?

With his football from Aunt Michelle.

When the box arrived two days after Christmas Eli knew just what to do. He's now a presents expert.

My new tattoo!! I love it and am already considering getting more.

The quote is the first stanza of an Emily Dickinson poem, the first line was the header of my old xanga blog that I had in Vegas. That blog was a good bit racier than this one as I was sans kiddo and kept all names but my own on the DL.

So Christmas is over till next year and all that's left is the dismantling of the tree. Which I will surely get around to. Eventually.

Hello Blog

2008-12-30T15:45:00.001-05:00

Christmas was had and was very very fun. Pictures will be posted maybe tomorrow...

Also maybe a video of me reading Eli "Where the Wild Things Are" then I can just play it for him when I don't feel like actually reading it again.

Good Old Dorky Fun

2008-12-22T13:59:00.004-05:00

It is very very cold right now. Like so cold that I've forsaken walking to and from work. But, not to worry, it's supposed to be 50 degrees on Christmas. I'm a little bummed out by this because we got Eli this sled http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=534254&parentCategoryId=100180&categoryId=100181&subCategoryId=100185 and I had visions of pulling him around the back yard Christmas day and taking adorable photos that we would enjoy for years to come! Surely we'll have snow at some point, maybe on his birthday which is coming up way to fast. It's hard to believe I'm six weeks awake from my baby boy being two.
He is looking a lot like a big kid nowadays. He may even get his first haircut before long. Don't hold me to it though, I'll probably chicken out before then!

On Saturday morning I had my annual gift exchange with Jen and Adrienne and I made out like a bandit, as the saying goes. Jen got me four additional pairs of ballet flats and I'm now trying to figure out how many pairs I actually have. I suspect there will be a head count and a photo shoot in the near future.

Thanks to the Twilight fever that has swept our lives there were very dorky gifts to make us laugh. I got them these buttons: http://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.46605648.jpg (I also ordered a different set for my friend Sarah) and Adrienne got Jen and I the ridiculously hilarious unauthorized Robert Pattinson Bio
I think it'd actually be impossible for us to get dorkier. Except that night at the Christmas party we had a Dirty Dancing Trivia Challenge throw down where I showed my ability to quote entire paragraphs of dialog and won this shirt:

I look forward to proudly wearing it for years to come!

Christmas is fast approaching and I'm getting very very excited. My shopping is finished (WOOT WOOT) and I have my holiday menu planned: Coca-Cola glazed ham, stuffing muffins (so good you could die), garlic mashed potatoes, corn souffle, roasted asparagus and cranberry sauce. Also thanks to a cookbook I received from a co-worker I'm going to start eggs and beets to pickling after work today; I have a deep and abiding love for all things pickled but especially eggs. Planning this holiday meal has me already thinking about Easter and toying with the idea of only making foods that have alcohol in the recipe. Googling will ensue shortly and we'll see how many recipes I can scrounge up.

I stole this from Postsecret because it's everything good about Christmas. May everyone be generous and cheerful and sweet to their family members.

And Merry Christmas if I don't blog again this week. Chances are I won't since tomorrow's my last day at work til the next Tuesday.

Wanted:

2008-12-18T15:42:00.001-05:00

A professional wrapper. Apply within.

Blogger

2008-12-16T15:41:00.002-05:00

Isn't making paragraph breaks. Everything ran together and I tried editing twice. So I'm sorry that the last post is jumbled.

Pictures, Followed By A Healthy Dose of Whinging

2008-12-16T14:59:00.007-05:00

We were supposed to go Saturday morning to do Christmas pictures, but Friday night Eli had a fever followed by some nasty intestinal nonsense (these illnesses are the only time i hate cloth diapers). The photo appointment got cancelled for the second time and I still needed pictures for Christmas cards; last years cards got sent out without pictures and that WAS NOT HAPPENING THIS YEAR. So, Sunday afternoon we had a photo shoot. I bought at a backdrop and prop at the dollar store by my house. Then I tried to get Eli to hold still and let me take his photo. That was harder.

This face was solicited by Jason telling him to hold still. Adorable but sad.

This was my dollar store prop, a tissue paper tree from 1987! So awesome! And so completely destroyed now that Elijah got his hands on it. I may go over and see if there's another one and pack it away for safekeeping. It could be worth a lot of money some day...

I took over 135 photos, if you're interested you can see a bunch of them here: http://picasaweb.google.com/emilycleone/ChristmasPhotoShoot#. Monday morning I narrowed it down to three pictures and ordered cards from CVS.com. If you read this chances are good you're on my list and you'll be getting a card, I'm really pleased with how they turned out.

Now is the time for people who don't want to listen to me whine or just don't care about my issues to stop reading. Close the page. OK.

My period is almost two weeks late. And as of Sunday morning pregnancy tests are coming back negative. This is bullshit. I'm feeling a lot better about this than I was last week thanks to my baby board friends and Jason happily letting me freak out at home but it's still irking me. How am I supposed to try to conceive when my body can't get it together? Through the magic of the Internet I know tons of other women are going through the same thing I am and engaging in the same crazy behaviors. Said behaviors include: obsessively peeing on tiny sticks, pulling said tiny sticks out of the trash hours later to make sure they're still negative and becoming all to familiar with the phenomena of evaporation lines http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3093/2732979251_5a2b92d359.jpg?v=0. That's what happened to me on Friday, I was sure that the very very very faint line on my test was a positive. But no it's just a stupid test defect. The tests shouldn't do that, it's mean. It taunts ladies whose hormones are very clearly already out of whack and it makes me want to write pithy emails to people. When I think of the money I've spent on pregnancy tests I'm a lot ashamed. I'll actually save money by getting pregnant. Well kind of... Anyway I'll be happier and that should count for something.

Christmas!

2008-12-11T13:40:00.002-05:00

I love Christmas. I think I told everyone this last year but as annoying people is my thing lately I will state it again. Yea Christmas! I love buying people just the right present and I love decorations and I love cookies and fruit cake (I ate an entire fruit cake when I was pregnant, like 10 lbs of candied cake) and Christmas music and TV specials. I love crowded stores and salvation army buckets and fake Santas. I am obnoxious in my love for this over commercialized holiday; just ask my not so festive husband. Though I think he's coming around a little, he said that the tree looked really nice. One of the things I'm most looking forward to as a parent is Eli getting older and getting mommy's holiday spirit. He "helped" me decorate the tree this year.

Eli was refusing to look at the camera during our little photo shoot. I hope that during our official photo shoot on Saturday morning (yes it was supposed to happen last Sunday but I'm a terribly horrible no good very bad planner--some people are like that, even in Australia) he gives good face.

The finished product! Blogger is still publishing my pictures out of order and I just don't care enough to fix it.

Putting the star on the tree as Audrey Hepburn looks on. I initially tried to get Eli to do this but young sir wasn't cooperating, like a lot of things he'll probably be more into this next year when he's almost three.

My favorite face.

T-Rex! Every time I go to Target I find something else fabulous. You may think that they're paying me to rave about them but I just do it out of love. Though I certainly wouldn't say no to them endorsing me in gift cards.

I have maybe half of my shopping done and hope to finish the rest of it next week, well before Christmas Eve! As for what I want it's out of my hands but I'll happily accept books, Starbucks gift cards, fancy tea or the fabulous coat from my previous post as a substitute.

And I'll happily listen to this song a gazillion more times before January 1st http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA8UHeoYHQM don't pretend you don't like it! It's charming.

Not A Bummer Post

2008-12-08T14:50:00.002-05:00

Since my last post was no fun for anyone I suggest you visit these links:
http://www.thingsbearslove.com/
http://mingle2.com/dating/unicorn
http://mingle2.com/blog/view/dating-tyrannosaurus

You can thank me for lifting your spirits by buying me this coat:
http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth/Womens/Outerwear/Strawberry+Fields+Coat
I know it's expensive but maybe some sort of collection could be raised.

Trying Too Hard

2008-12-08T14:17:00.002-05:00

For anyone who is not interested in listening to self indulgent whining my advice is to skip this post.

The handful of people who read this blog probably know that I've been actively trying to get pregnant with baby number two for almost a year now. And before that we were, I guess you could say, informally trying by rarely doing anything to prevent pregnancy. I got pregnant with Eli like that (picture me snapping my fingers) and honestly I thought this time would be a snap as well. It hasn't been. And I'm having trouble thinking of anything else. I am so obsessed with getting pregnant that I'm driving myself and a lot of other people crazy. Every month until my period comes I am analyzing every single thing my body does. Every ache, every twinge, every fluid, every weird dream, every episode of absent mindedness. Could that be a symptom? Could that be a symptom? Could that be a symptom? EVERYTHING until I want to bang my head against something hard to make my brain stop.

When I was a teenager and in therapy for a few different sorts of obsessive behavior my very awesome therapist taught me to meditate (I used to do this on top of the dorm sized fridge in my room which was a please eat bribe from my mom) and made me keep a negative thought journal. Whenever I thought something like "I'm so fat I don't know how anyone can stand looking at me." or "That apple slice had all my calories for the day now I can't eat anything else." or "My mom is ten minutes late coming home from work she must have died in a horrible car accident." I had to stop whatever I was doing and write it down. This helped because 1. I saw how ridiculous I was after a few weeks of rereading my daily entries and 2. I got tired of writing these things down. And while I'm usually obsessing over something in my head nothing has been as bad as things were in adolescence until now. Of course I have considered starting another fun notebook of all my nasty obsessive thoughts but I don't have time for that with a toddler and I'm not so sure it would even work. Until I get pregnant I can't imagine anything distracting me from trying to get pregnant.

Since no one in real life wants to hear about it I finally decided to blog about it because after rereading my old diaries I remembered how fucking good it feels to write things out. I also realized how annoying 14-16 year old Emily was (sorry mom) and I don't want to be obsessed and annoying like that here but I need an outlet. I promise to head up any posts like this with a warning and people can skip over them and look at pictures of the little man and continue to like me. Seems fair right?

New Look

2008-12-04T13:29:00.002-05:00

I decided I didn't like my old template at all and I'm going to try this one out. Today it suits me. I have a lot to say but I'm not sure if I want to write it out here or how to phrase it if I should so I'll just put up some new pictures of Eli.
He really likes wearing grown ups shoes, here he's trying to put on the crocs that Grandma Nora sent daddy, he's having a hard time of it without using his hands.

That's better! He stomped around in them for about fifteen minutes and was perfectly contented. He likes to pay dress up.

Talking to my mom on the phone with his excellent after bath hair. When it's curled like that I can never fathom cutting it.

Cloth diaper butt! Baby's got back...

He wasn't mad here, I just caught him mid-holler. He's rocking out and my trashed living room is proof.

For Which I Am Truly Thankful

2008-12-01T12:38:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving went off pretty much without incident. There was only one minor disaster (it seemed less minor at the time) and it will never be repeated as Jason is now banned from using my kitchen. Everything I made was very tasty, especially the stuffing muffins which stole the show. I made them using this recipe http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,194,144164-243194,00.html but I modified it a bit leaving out the bacon and doubling the recipe so that I'd be assured to make the gluttonous amount that is expected of me. Also do you see how the recipe just says softened butter and doesn't specify the amount? Well I guessed high.

I didn't get to go Black Friday shopping, and I'm one of those yahoos who loves to do so, but I went out Saturday evening and got to raid my favorite place on earth, Target. Christmas ornaments were purchased and when the tree gets to my house I'll post pictures of it's silver and blue splendor. I also got Eli's outfit for his Christmas pictures (also to be taken at Target) and let me just say black velvet smoking jacket. Some one's going to look mighty handsome. After shopping we ate at Eat'n'Park and Eli had a very important Pittsburgh moment:
His first smiley cookie!

We only gave him a small piece, that's why he's looking longingly at the wrapped portion. I'm easing up a little but we still don't need toddler on a sugar high at our house.

Eli on Thanksgiving playing with his roasted asparagus. How could I not be truly thankful for the little man in my life?

So...

2008-11-26T12:58:00.002-05:00

I really really suck. To distract you from that; look Eli!
Jason took this picture while I was at work. When I got home yesterday afternoon we had this conversation:
J: You should go look at the camera
Me: Why?
J: I took pictures of Eli you're not going to like two of them.
I took that to mean that they were going to be pictures of Eli smoking cigarettes, hanging out with strippers, drinking mountain dew, or wearing a disposable diaper. Thankfully Jason was just referring to Eli wearing daddy's Dolphin's hat. I mean it's gross but Eli makes it look good.

Big bear wrestling!! I brought my giant bears down from Eli's bedroom (they were presents from Jason when we were dating) the other day and he's decided they're excellent wrestling buddies. When he gets older maybe I'll get him one of these like his Uncle Marty had, http://www.tias.com/stores/gift/pictures/wwf1a.jpg, if he's lucky.

And I got new hair! I love it, it's the same color as Dencey's so that when I swap her for Eli it'll be easier to convince the cops that she really belongs me.

See how cute Dencey is? And she does not have the hissy fits that Eli's been having on a daily basis. Eli likes to abuse his adorable cousin by pushing her down. And then laughing. Mommy doesn't find it as funny as he does.

Of course then he does something like decide that he wants to wear socks on his hands for an hour and completely redeems himself! The kid infuriates and delights me.

General Malaise

2008-11-14T15:17:00.002-05:00

I've been an exceptionally bad blogger. I'd like to make my apologies and excuses.
-I quit doing the casserole thing because it was a very calorie heavy venture, a lot of food was getting wasted, and I'm not the best with follow through.
-I've had an incredibly annoying cold for 12 days now. It fluctuates in severity but I haven't felt 100% for quite some time.
-I am broke and fretting over affording Christmas. I love to go over the top with presents and that's just not seeming like a possibility this year so I'm vexed.

See what a pout fest I am? It's best that I haven't been blogging. Here are two pics of Eli who's also been battling the never ending cold so please excuse the bleary eyed boy.
Eli decked out for a walk in the cold. He's wearing mommy's hat. It does look fabulous on him but I've since acquired to boy appropriate hats for him.

Eli loves football. The other day when Uncle Cory was visiting Eli fell asleep clutching his football. Not even two and already full of testosterone.

My picture taking has also been lacking. Eli was doing something incredibly cute the other day and I didn't have the energy to get the camera. Send vitamins.

Mr Yuck

2008-11-11T15:01:00.001-05:00

They're doing construction at my office. The fumes are making me high and the drill noise is giving me a headache. I am annoyed. That is all.

A Brighter Future

2008-11-06T12:49:00.002-05:00

Eli wants to know why I keep trying to get him to say Obama. And I tell him that hopefully Obama is going to be the president of our country for the next eight years. That if Obama's health care policy passes daddy can go to the doctor. Then I tell him about how countries around the world are cheering for the decision the people of his country made Nov 4th. Finally I tell him that the future looks brighter to me and that mommy is hoping that this means a better world for him to grow up in.

He still hasn't said Obama, but we've got lots of time.

KangaEli

2008-11-05T09:59:00.002-05:00

Getting good pictures of Eli was not as easy as it was last year. I apologize, he never sits still now and my camera wasn't working well in the dark. Maybe I'll put the costume back on him and try again this weekend. Trying to get a picture of Seanie and Eli together before we headed out. Eli wasn't having any part of it when Seanie's toys were waiting to be thrown about.

Eli gets by with a little help from his friend.

I can haz candy?

KangaEli collapsed from all the excitement. Good thing the wagon has a belt!

He didn't even wake up when I transferred him back to the stroller.

He did however wake up at 3 am and get taken downstairs by daddy so mommy could sleep. And then daddy thought, "Hey why not give him a Halloween treat?". So he gave him mini oreos and a fun size Snickers bar. Do you want to take a guess at the next time Eli slept? I'll just tell you Eight pm Saturday. No more sugar for Eli.

Election Day!!

2008-11-04T12:56:00.000-05:00

Election day is finally here! Make sure you vote!

Halloween Part One

2008-10-31T15:46:00.004-04:00

Today we had Halloween fun at work. Every year we have a pumpkin decorating contest that people take very seriously.
This was my cubes contribution, I painted the pumpkins last night and then blow dried them during commercials so that I could do a second coat. I think they turned out very cute and will look most impressive sitting on my stoop tonight.

My supervisor's award winning pumpkin. I claimed the little eyeball covered gourd as my own.

Hannibal Lector pumpkin.

Incredibly awesome candy corn blow fish pumpkin, courtesy of Suz's cube.

Joe the plumber, the pumpkin.

This afternoon Eli came to visit in his kangaroo costume, which he seems really into wearing thank goodness.

At first he just wanted to play with the water cooler bottles.

I'll have more official pics on Monday. I'm very much looking forward to trick or treating because as the food Nazi (Jason's words) I get to eat all the candy myself! Hurrah!

Casserole#10: Vegetable Alfredo Casserole

2008-10-31T15:32:00.003-04:00

I made this last night and it was pretty tasty. I took very detailed pictures which blogger refuses to post in the proper order and I don't feel like posting them one by one. Please excuse my laziness. To make this you'll need:
4-5 whole carrots
1 squash
1 pint mushrooms
3 cups broccoli
1/2 cups rice
2 jars Alfredo sauce

First cook your rice and remember it's always double the water to rice so 3 cups of water for a cup and a half of rice.
Peel your carrots and slice them into what Amy Sedaris charmingly calls "carrot coins".
Place your carrot coins in a bowl with just enough water to cover them and microwave for around 6 minutes. This will help get them tender.
Slice your squash into "squash coins"
Spread your cooked rice into the bottom of a casserole dish.
Pour Alfredo sauce on top.
Place carrots and squash on top
Pour a layer of sauce over the veggies
Add layer of mushrooms and layer of broccoli
Pour last of sauce on top
Bake at 350 degrees for about half an hour.

Here are some horribly out of order pictures. Note the pic of the rice in the pot I finally make it perfectly.

Eli liked this a lot ( he finally has his appetite back ) and I felt great at how many veggies he ate.

Tonight there will be no casserole, we're just having frozen pizza before trick or treating.

Casserole #9: Tater Tot Casserole

2008-10-31T15:23:00.002-04:00

Tater Tot Casserole was a let down. It reminded me all too much of Hamburger Helper. Here's the recipe if you want to give it a shot:

1 lb ground beef
1 bag frozen tater tots
1 can cream of mushroom soup
salt, pepper, garlic salt to taste
1 bag frozen green beans.
1/2 bag shredded cheddar cheese

It's really simple to make :

Brown and season your beef
Drain all the fat (I use my strainer)
Spread beef in casserole dish
Mix in mushroom soup, one cans worth of milk and green beans
Stir well
Place tater tots on top
Sprinkle shredded cheese across tots
Bake at 375 degrees for 30-35 minutes

Eli did like this a lot more than I did. I just was not that into it.

Casserole#8: Pasta Bake

2008-10-31T15:04:00.003-04:00

Pasta Bake Casserole is very very good. And cheesy. And melty. I encourage you to make it. You'll need:
1 bag frozen or fresh ravioli
1 bag frozen or fresh tortellini
2 jars spaghetti sauce
1 pint ricotta cheese
2 eggs
pepper to taste
1 bag shredded mozzarella cheese
1 bag frozen asparagus or other veggie.

Get a large casserole dish and preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
Mix your eggs, ricotta and pepper. It'll look like mashed potatoes, that means you did it right.

Spread a thin layer of sauce in the bottom of the casserole dish.

Spread tortellini on top of that.

Cover tortellini with more sauce and then layer ricotta cheese mixture and shredded mozzarella on top.

The rest of my pictures are out of order again so here's what you do:

Put more sauce on top of the double cheese layer

Place ravioli on top of sauce

Pour entire bag of veggies over the sauce

Pour the rest of the sauce on top

Cover the whole thing with mozzarella

Bake uncovered for 30-40 minutes or until cheese is brown and melted and sauce is bubbly.

Ready to go in the oven!

What it looks like after being dug into.

All melty just out of the oven.

The bare ravioli layer.

This was great. And toddler friendly though Eli was still feeling under the weather and more inclined to fling his food than to eat it. Under normal circumstances he loves anything pasta. He especially loves getting tomato sauce into his hair.

Casserole #7: Sweet Potato Casserole

2008-10-28T12:37:00.006-04:00

I ate dinner with my brother and sister in law last night and at eight pm realized I'd have nothing for lunch the next day because of it. So I decided to make a super quick sweet potato casserole. It's insanely easy.
Get a big can of yams and drain all the syrup off before placing in a smaller sized casserole dish.

Then add brown sugar, cinnamon and maple syrup. If you like things sweeter add a bunch, if not just use a little.

Then put at least two big pats of butter on top and stick it in the oven for 25-30 minutes.

After it's cooked pull the dish out and sprinkle marshmallows on top, put the dish under the broiler so they'll brown and melt.

When it's done it'll be bubbly and brown like this. Delicious. Eli's had this and obviously loves it so it's very toddler friendly.

Last night while I was cooking I was tending to this nasty new cough he has. The poor little man was so miserable that eventually I just brought him down and we slept on the couch together.

Before the sleeping I rewarded myself with a piece of pumpkin roll and a glass of whole milk. It made dealing with a sick kiddo entirely more bearable.

Pumpkins! And Goats!

2008-10-28T12:15:00.006-04:00

Yesterday afternoon Amy and I finally got the kids to the pumpkin patch, despite the fact that the weather was gloomy and it was quite hard to find a place that's open on Monday afternoons. Luckily I found this place http://www.simmonsfarm.com/Fall%20Activities.htm.

Trying to get a good picture of Dencey and Eli together was challenging. This was the best I could do. They're very cute.

Trying to get a good picture of just Eli was pretty challenging too.

Eli was very into the apples that were for sale in the shop. He kept going from bushel to bushel picking them up and smelling them then putting them back down. So, if you happen to buy some apples from Simmon's Farm you make sure to wash them before you eat them.

Eli was pretty positive that the pumpkins were just balls with stems. And he kept throwing them.

Don't worry nothing was broken, he doesn't yet have the strength to smash pumpkins.

The best part of the trip was the petting zoo and the fact that we were the only ones there. It was Dencey & Eli's private petting zoo. The goat above was adorable and incredibly friendly. I named him Paprika.

I think that a lot of kids would have been a bit scared of the goats but not these kids. They probably just thought they were dogs.

The only animals who weren't extremely cuddly were the ducks. Eli tried to make friends with them anyway.

The baby goats loved Dencey and kept trying to nurse on her fingers. And one tried to eat her hood. The goats also tried to eat my coat and purse. What they say about goats is true.

Eli didn't care that the goat wanted to eat him, he thought they were swell anyway.I didn't end up getting a pumpkin, but I purchased a gourd that looks just like a Super Mario mushroom! Very fabulous, I'm trying to incorporate it for my work pumpkin decorating contest.

Casserole #6: Banana Bread Chocolate Pudding Casserole

2008-10-27T12:38:00.014-04:00

Yesterday morning I decided to make a cheater casserole. It's cheating because I used box stuff.

Ingredients:
1 box Trader Joe's banana bread mix
1 ripe banana
1/4 stick butter
1 box chocolate pudding mix
butterscotch topping

Basically you should follow the instructions on the back of the banana bread box. Use the recipe where you substitute a banana for the oil, but also melt down a 1/4 stick of butter.

Mash your banana in with the melted butter and resist the temptation to eat that with a spoon.

Stir everything very well. The box says you need a mixer but my wooden spoon worked just fine.

Grease your pan with butter. Do it.

Delicious banana-y batter goes into the oven.

While the bread is baking make your instant pudding. I used whole milk because that's the only milk we drink.

I adore chocolate pudding. Stephanie and I used to make boxes of this and eat it for late night snacks while watching an infomercial for a best of the 80's CD collection.

Perfect bread

Take that perfect maybe kind of healthy bread and spread your chocolate pudding over it.

Then take butterscotch ice cream topping (I'm currently in possession of two jars because I show hoarding tendencies) and drizzle it across the top of the pudding.

Feel free to use a heavy hand when you do this.

Cover it with foil and stick it in the fridge to set.

I had this for breakfast. It was delicious. I'm sure that toddlers would love it but we try to give Eli as little sugar as possible so he won't be trying it. I'll make it for him again when he's older. Then send him to grandma's for the night.

I Didn't

2008-10-27T12:30:00.002-04:00

Make a casserole on Saturday. I couldn't stomach the thought of cooking. But look how handsome Eli is
hanging out in the awesome Piggly Wiggly shirt grandma got him in Myrtle Beach. I had a very similar shirt when i was 18 and I loved it almost literally to bits.

Matchbox cars are Eli's new obsession, he likes to line them up then very carefully move them back and forth while making car noises. He's such a little macho man.

Climbing into his toybox so that he can climb on top of it.

And wearing Aunt Suzanne's hat. He knows how fetching he looks in accessories.

Casserole #5: Chicken and Biscuits Casserole

2008-10-27T12:14:00.007-04:00

Friday night I made what I think is one of the world's tastiest casseroles (but you may have noticed I'm not super picky. It's this recipe http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easy-Chicken-and-Biscuits/Detail.aspx which i pretty much follow. The only difference is that instead of using a can of cream of potato soup I used potato buds and added about a cup of milk. It made the filling a lot like a pot pie ie amazing.
I cook my chicken in olive oil, I have canola but hardly ever use it, I also seasoned the breasts with black pepper and some parsley.

Everything mixed together. There are no in between shots for the process because Eli was in the kitchen with me being very very helpful.

I can never get the biscuit package to open without doing this. And the noise startles me even though I'm well aware it's coming.

mmmmm biscuits.

In the picture on the Campbell's website the biscuits are just around the outside. That's not enough biscuit for me.

All toasty and delicious.

Eli and I both loved this and cleaned our plates. And we had it again for lunch Saturday afternoon. It's incredibly toddler friendly. I really recommend using the potato buds if you decide to make this it cuts down on the salt factor tremendously. Unless you like sodium bloat, then by all means...

Nutrition

2008-10-24T10:05:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I had a mini twix bar and raspberry ginger ale for breakfast this morning. I've got dinner down, lunch is comprised of leftovers (with these giant casseroles I may never have to buy lunch again), but I really need some help getting organized about breakfast.

Especially on mornings that start with Jason cutting his foot and running around screaming and bleeding on everything. Why are men such babies? Now I'll feel slightly hectic and rushed all day. Perhaps a healthy breakfast would have off setted that feeling.

Casserole #4: Rachel Casserole

2008-10-24T09:05:00.012-04:00

Last night I made a rachel casserole, for those of you who aren't in the know a rachel is turkey rueben. I based it off this recipe: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,188,155168-230205,00.html, but I wasn't sure about corned beef AND sauerkraut in Eli's little tummy so I decided to substitute turkey. I also left out the onion since I don't eat onions on my reuben and I hate cutting onions. I always cry and can't see and almost cut my finger off. Too dramatic unless it's a necessary ingredient.
Ingredients, I bought the tiny rye because it was really easy to cube up. But now I have half a loaf of tiny rye bread...

They didn't have any shredded Swiss cheese at the store so I just got sliced and chopped it. Easy.

Yay for sauerkraut! The only thing I disliked about making this was putting the cold sauerkraut in the strainer and squeezing the juice out. That was unpleasant.

The bread baked up almost like croutons, it was incredibly tasty.

The bottom half of my pictures are out of order because blogger's a jerk unless I'm uploading one by one.

Note the truck on Eli's high chair; he was playing with it before dinner, using my legs as an express way and making vroom vroom noises. And then he insisted on taking it to the bathtub with him as well.

Eli's portion right before I popped it into the freezer to cool down.

This casserole didn't strike me as being particularly nutritional so I made veggies on the side. Birdseye frozen veggies are delicious and I now refuse to buy other brands.

If you were concerned that maybe Eli was bored while I was in the kitchen taking care of business you needn't have been, he was entertaining himself just fine. That glass was on top the TV stand when I went into the kitchen which means he climbed up onto his toy box, got the glass, acquired his cell phone and then settled back in on the couch. Also this picture doesn't show it but he was wearing shoes and no pants. Because that's how Eli rolls and you will not crush his individuality!

Anyway, back on point, rachel casserole was pretty good. Eli wasn't that crazy about it though so it's not that toddler friendly. Also the kraut was pretty bitter, if I make this again I'll sugar it a bit before mixing in the caraway and parsley. I'm going to give it a six and a half out of ten. It's certainly no CornDog casserole that's for sure.

Casserole #3: Tuna Noodle Casserole

2008-10-23T11:39:00.002-04:00

Last night I made Tuna Noodle Casserole which is one of my very favorite things in the entire world. This is my tried and true and tasty recipe.

Ingredients:
2 or 3 cans of chunk white tuna in water
1 bag egg noodles
1 bag frozen veggies (usually i use peas, last night it was peas and carrots)
1 can cream celery soup
1-1/2 cups milk depending on how creamy you want it
pepper & salt
1/2 cup shredded cheddar
2 tbsp butter
1 cup flavored bread crumbs
1 tsp olive oil

Cook your egg noodles in salted water with a little olive oil, drain and set aside
In large bowl mix cream of celery soup, milk, pepper and drained tuna--I use a lot of pepper because I prefer it to all other spices
Then add in frozen veggies (no need to thaw they'll cook in the oven) and stir well.
Finally add in noodles and mix everything together very very well, if you think it needs more sauce add a bit more milk
In a separate bowl melt butter
Add the breadcrumbs to the melted butter and stir well
In a shallow 9x13 casserole dish spread tuna noodle mixture
Sprinkle cheese on top of mixture
Spread breadcrumb mixture on top
Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes

Again my pictures are backwards, but it's only two this time.
Eli's portion, which he hate every bit of, he LOVES tuna casserole.

Yum yum, the bread crumb layer is very thin even though you can't tell in this picture. Too many breadcrumbs is a bad thing. This time I used Corn Flake Crumbs but usually it's just Italian seasoned crumbs, I was out.

Casserole #2: CornDog Casserole

2008-10-23T11:23:00.002-04:00

Casserole #2 was a big success. It was basically this recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Corn-Dog-Casserole/Detail.aspx except we used veggie dogs and I replaced the celery (not a fan) with broccoli florets. My pictures are all out of order because blogger's being a jerk. I'll narrate them very clearly.
This is the casserole all assembled and ready to go in the oven, I used mozzarella & cheddar cheese because two cheeses are better than one.

This is how I grease casserole dishes at my house. With butter. Real butter.

Stirring it all together. These pictures have a very 1970's quality to them because my flash would appear to have stopped working on my camera and I didn't want to take the time to figure out why. Plus I like the 70's.

All the ingredients! See simple.

MMMM baked beans, this was supposed to be lower as this is what the pan looked like after the beans had been devoured.

Likewise this picture of the cooked casserole.

Beans cooked up nice and thick. I made them just like my mom does, from the can with a lot of doctoring going on. Suzanne and Zoie profess them delicious. Eli and I agree.

CornDog Casserole fresh out of the oven. I give this ten out of ten and two thumbs up and any other high rating you'd like to apply. Eli loved it too so I'd say it's very toddler friendly. Putting in the broccoli made me feel better about the nutritious value of this casserole as well.

Seriously People

2008-10-21T12:45:00.002-04:00

I'm not going to say anything mean, I'm just going to ask that you read this and at least consider the grammar and sentence structure before you vote. Oh and basic human rights, think about those too. Okay? Okay.

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2008/10/20/politics/fromtheroad/entry4531945.shtml

Accesories Make the Man

2008-10-21T11:05:00.002-04:00

I'm not going to just post recipes, this blog will still be used for Eli updates and general bitchery.

You know who's cooler than Eli?
No one... No one.

Casserole 365

2008-10-21T10:45:00.003-04:00

I've been toying with the idea of doing recipes on here since I love recipe blogs and have been really into cooking as of late, and I've been really into casseroles as my dinners of choice. So I'm going to start casserole 365, I'll make a casserole every day for the next year. Main dishes, side dishes and desserts and sometimes I may bend the definition of casserole to mean anything with more than one ingredient that can be put in a dish and baked in the oven. Also if I get bored or annoyed I'm giving myself permission to stop at anytime and not stubbornly insist on seeing this through if it's driving me batty.

Last night was Casserole #1: Tortilla Casserole

I started with a recipe I printed off foodnetwork.com (I've been printing up recipes at an alarming rate) but ended up adapting it so much that it resembled something else entirely. Also I made my own taco seasoning because casseroles tend to be high in sodium and I'm going to strive to eat as healthily as possible on this adventure through casserole land.

Ingredients:
1 tbsp olive oil
2 lbs ground beef
1/4 cup diced onion
1/4 cup diced yellow or red pepper
1/2 tbsp cumin
1/4 tbsp adobo
salt & pepper to taste
1 pint sour cream
2 eggs
1/4 can sliced black olives
sm. can chopped green chilies
1 bag shredded cheddar
med. jar salsa
6-8 flour tortillas

In a large skillet combine olive oil, onions & peppers.
Saute for about 2-3 minutes before adding the hamburger to the pan.
As meat is browning add cumin, adobo, salt and pepper--spices are optional of course but if you want it to taste at all like the packet seasoning you must use cumin
While meat is cooking mix the pint of sour cream with two eggs and pepper to taste
Drain the fat off the cooked meat-all of it or it'll be too wet

Once you have the meat cooked and the sour cream concoction made line all your ingredients up on the counter.
Put a layer of tortillas on the bottom of the casserole dish
Top with half of the meat
Spread half of the sour cream on top of that
Sprinkle olives and cheese
Lay another layer of tortillas
Then the rest of the meat & sour cream
Spread the chilies on top (I left a corner chili free for Eli)
Pour the salsa on top and sprinkle with remaining cheese
Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 1/2 an hour

This was really tasty, not spicy at all (though if you want it spicy just add more cumin and maybe some chili powder) and Eli gobbled it right up. I'd say it's pretty toddler friendly.

Probably tomorrow's recipe will be illustrated, I was too lazy to take pictures last night. Also Eli was screaming at the fence the whole time I was chopping which made me a bit on edge; he seems determined to make me lose a finger. The little darling.

Remember When

2008-10-13T12:24:00.003-04:00

Eli last October at 8 months old, no neck and no teeth.
Eli this weekend : )

How time doth fly when you're having fun.

Points of Contention

2008-10-09T14:33:00.002-04:00

.I am tired of being broke. I am considering supplementing my income with a work from home job. As a prostitute. Don't judge until you hear me out, I could charge $150 a customer, one customer a day 5x a week. That's $36,000 a year! I would keep my current job for the health benefits and we could live very very comfortably.

.I hate being on my period. I would much rather be pregnant. Or lying on a beach not bleeding from my lady parts. Or just sitting at my desk not bleeding from my lady parts.

.When I eat salty food my mouth tastes like the ocean. Why must salt have this effect?

.Satellite TV is unGodly expensive. It should be free.

.My power went out for four hours last night. It's over but I'm still annoyed about it.

.I cannot keep my house clean. I cannot afford a maid. I cannot make the day longer so that I have more hours to get things done. Unfair.

.Eli is still not talking enough to effectively communicate so he squeals and points. I HATE it. It makes my head hurt. But he's a baby so I can't yell back. I can however bitch on this blog because that's what it's here for.

Picture Pages!

2008-10-06T12:02:00.007-04:00

Guess who takes a lot of pictures and assumes people are interested in them?
Eli wanted to show you the proper stance for throwing a baseball.
Could someone please send the kid some toys? He's really really bored over here.
On Thursday I took off work to go to Phipps Conservatory with my sister-in-law and niece http://www.phipps.conservatory.org/. Both kids were on their best behavior even though they were confined for the protection of the flowers. Eli loves to pick flowers. And then crush them in his tiny hand and throw them to the ground. Probably they frown on that there.
It's absolutely gorgeous. Amy was saying how she always dreamed of being married in this garden, it would be a lovely place to be wedded.
I told Eli we were in the jungle. He said "oh yeah? if this is the jungle where are the monkeys?" Can't get anything past that kid.

For some (really fabulous) reason there were flamingos everywhere. The ones above are having a cocoa steam bath. I was jealous.
Chocolate flamingos shipwrecked.
Eli was also really good at lunch afterwards so I let him look at the fish. I am a very nice mother.
He hasn't quite grown into his ears yet...
Still he's pretty damn cute. That's his catcher's stance, he'll hand you a ball then run across the room and hunker down in preparation. Natural born athlete.

On Saturday we babysat for Dencey. She's pretty cute too with her sweet red head. Sadly it seems like Eli's starting to get jealous of her again and doesn't like when she drinks out of his sippy cup or when I pick her up. My mom assures me it's the age and that he'll grow out of it.
Mr. Baseball rocks his baby bell bottoms.
On Sunday we went to the Andy Warhol Museum http://www.warhol.org/ much like our trip to the Carnegie Eli was riveted by the art.
They have an exhibit with a ton of Popeil Brothers stuff that I wanted to take down and carry home.
How I wish that I could have competed for the title of Miss Kitchen Gadget!

There is nothing not to like about that.
Clearly I need a Veg-O-Matic. http://smarterthanpancakes.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/veg-o-matic.jpg
Also I need all of this kitchen ware. Feel free to start looking on Ebay.
Eli woke up in time for the balloon room. He was into it.

Suzanne found her favorite kind of art.
This picture was the last one I managed to get on the gallery floors before being chastised. Which sucked because there were a lot of fabulous things to snap.
Eli contemplates a life as a pop artist.
Eli has exactly one toy gun. The orange squirt gun in this picture. He loves it, I once saw him dig every single toy out of the toy box until he found it. Not sure what that means. Also note that I was watching What Dreams May Come which always makes me cry. It's one of the few Robin Williams' movies that I enjoy.
Smile.

Hometown, I love you

2008-10-01T14:17:00.002-04:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13ball/2179351575/

Dear Eli,

2008-10-01T12:10:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow you'll be twenty months old. Since you're not very skilled at math yet I'll point out to you that you'll be two years old in just four months. That seems pretty unfathomable to me, weren't you just my tiny baby? Of course in some ways I'd swear you're two already, you certainly throw tantrums like a bona fide toddler. There are times when you're down there on the floor screaming for no reason I can identify that make me want to scream too. I don't, but only because I don't want the neighbors to call the cops. You're pretty skilled at going from 0-60 in about five seconds with these tantrums. My secret hope is that since you've entered the terrible twos early next year will be a lot smoother.

One of the ways that you still seem very much a baby is that you're just not talking. Lots of babbling going on and it is occasionally starting to resemble words but nothing like what a lot of other kids your age are doing. Mommy's other secret hope is that when I look back on months twenty one and twenty two I'll be able to identify them as the months you really started communicating.

That's you in May, Eli. Look how little hair you had!
Now you have a serious coif. I adore your little curls which seem to be getting curlier every day. If you'd just learn to tolerate hair washing...
You're still really into sports, and you're pretty impressive for being not quite two. You can throw a ball the whole way across the living room and we've taught you how to a pretty good touchdown impression complete with arms waving in the air. On several occasions I've found you napping with a ball in your arms. Daddy and I figure you'll be a Steelers QB by the time your 22. Don't let us down like your Uncle Roethlisberger continually does my love.
You're a champion climber these days kiddo and your favorite target is the rocking chair. We had to put the rocking chair next to the entertainment center to keep you from opening and closing the door a million times till I want to tie your hands behind your back. But now that solution doesn't seem as brilliant. Last night while I was making dinner you climbed up onto the arm of the chair, held onto the top of the entertainment center and got stuck three times. The last time I momentarily thought about leaving you there. Luckily for you I'm fairly opposed to child cruelty.
You've acquired your very first friend and seem to be pretty crazy about him. Everything that Seany does Eli's sure to do.

If someone asked me to describe you in one word right now I'd have to say hilarious. You crack up your daddy and I on a daily basis. You are so naughty! You're into everything all the time and we can't turn our backs for a second.
And you've become pretty adept at looking innocent when caught doing something you shouldn't be doing.
It's hard to stay mad at you when your face is as cute as it is. And when you can be so very sweet. You like to sit next to me on the couch and eat your snack when I get home from work. You're always so happy to see me and sometimes you'll just turn around and give me a kiss for no particular reason except maybe you love mommy half as much as she loves you.

Ha!

2008-09-30T15:21:00.003-04:00

This fills my heart with joy. First watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nokTjEdaUGg then compare it to this and if you don't laugh i don't want to talk to you ever again http://www.celebitchy.com/14446/tina_fey_plays_sarah_palin_again_on_saturday_night_live/.
I know what I'm being for Halloween...

Sleepy

2008-09-24T15:52:00.001-04:00

Would anyone like to front an island getaway for me?

Why I'm Excited

2008-09-22T14:26:00.002-04:00

Today I am a blogging machine! Apparently I have a lot to say. Also I've been such a gloomy cranky girl that I decided it'd be a good idea to play Pollyanna. So here are the top reasons I'm excited about life.

1. RAD days http://www.radworkshere.org/interior.php?pageID=42 i like when awesome things are free.

2. Heroes premiere tonight! Though it's been so long since I saw an episode of Heroes that there better be a damn good synopses at the start of the show.

3. I'm reading the last book in the Twilight series and very excited to finish them. I'm also waiting for my friend Sara to finish so we can discuss.

4. We had baked potato bar at work today. Delicious food makes me joyful.

5. On the same food note I made 2 pans of dumplings last night and I get to eat them. Probably not all of them but if I decided to it would be no body's business but my own.

6. The daily wonder that is Eli, last night when I asked him if he wanted to go to bed he did a little dance.

Anyone else want to play I'm Glad?

Dinosaurs and Tricycles

2008-09-22T10:48:00.007-04:00

I'm in a slightly better mood today, though still disgusted about several things that I'll quietly stew over without writing them out. It's probably better that way. We had a good weekend and my post is picture heavy, good news for anyone who enjoys looking at Eli as much as I do.
Eli is going to be 20 months old. Truly truly truly a toddler. He does something new every day that keeps me happy to see the next step in his growth.
Saturday morning I was eating an apple and he was very curious as to what I was doing so I thought I'd give him a shot at eating apples like a big boy. He didn't disappoint me.
Eli's very into playing peek a boo. Here he is hiding in his ball pit.
And then triumphantly emerging!

On Saturday I had an overwhelming desire to get out of the house for something besides shopping, after propositioning Suzanne we decided to head to the Carnegie Art and Natural History Museums, http://www.carnegiemuseums.org/, which are housed together.
Eli was very excited when we got there.

There's a very cool graffiti themed exhibit when you first enter, Suz is posing next to the wall which I wish I'd gotten a long shot of.
Here's Camo-Me, my shirt helped.
Tagging Ficus.
This looked very real, when I turned the corner I did a double take.
One wall was covered in these "wish bracelets".

And this installation would appear to be made entirely out of duct tape, it would have impressed my older brother who carried a duct tape wallet when he was younger and thought it the end-all be-all of duct tape.

Eli slept through most of the art galleries but luckily woke up before we headed over to the science half to see the dinosaurs. Pittsburgh has a lot of complete dinosaur skeletons including what was the first complete T-Rex ever assembled. We're awesome like that.
Eli in front of the bird-o-saurus sculpture which was part of dinosaur days, http://www.pbase.com/ralf/dinodays, Jen and I are plotting a photo shoot with Eli and all the dinos some day. Maybe we should wait til Eli can muster up some enthusiasm.
T-Rex! There's actually two set up to look like they're fighting each other but other museum patrons kept me from getting a clean shot.
Triceratops AKA Sara from the Land Before Time.
Prehistoric sea turtle! The plaque informed us that he was a gentle vegetarian. obviously we love him.

Eli in the elevator looking disgruntled, he was good as gold and even a little excited during the dinosaur exhibit but I have to admit he may be a bit young to appreciate the museum.
Ah fresh air, that's what Eli likes. Note his curls, reason number 1 why it'll be a long time til he gets a hair cut.
Yesterday I found this awesome Radio Flyer tricycle in perfect condition for $7 at the Goodwill. Deal of the century.
Eli was into it's old fashioned bell.
His feet don't reach the petals yet but he'll grow into it no doubt. And he looks mighty handsome posing on it.

I actually got to spend some quality time with my husband last night (it's still weird to say husband by the way) which was lovely. He was talking back to John McCain on Sixty Minutes and I was reminded that I never love him more than when he's being liberal. Jason spends so much time watching CNN that he often dreams about the political candidates, for him the end of the election season may be a good thing.

An Open Letter

2008-09-18T12:39:00.003-04:00

Dear World,

If I have to read one more account like this: http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/18/actor.cat.cruelty.ap/index.html or like this (which is making me seriously reconsider eating meat and watch that video at your own risk, I couldn't bring myself to) http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/09/16/abused.pigs.ap/index.html I am leaving the planet. I am building a spaceship and taking Eli and Jason and going to Saturn where we will live and start a new race of sensitive people who do not abuse helpless animals. On top of this I watched an episode of Bones about dog fighting last night which had me sobbing. I've seen first hand what abuse does to animals. Adelaide couldn't have always been crazy; she must have started out as a sweet, funny, trusting puppy, like all dogs do. And in her case someone fucked that up and turned her into the cringing, anxious pile of neurosis she is today. This pisses me off. So seriously--spaceship, Saturn, colony.

With Annoyance & Outrage,

Emily

And When I Woke Up I Was At Target Again!

2008-09-15T13:20:00.003-04:00

When Eli's babbling away in his baby talk that does not yet resemble words I imagine that a lot of the stories go like this "I got in the car with mom and Aunt Suz and I was in my seat. And it was comfy. I fell asleep. I was dreaming about balls and I made a touchdown and everyone clapped for me and i was so proud because I'm an excellent athlete. And when I woke up I was in Target again!"

The poor kid he's always waking up from car naps to find that he's been deposited in a red cart and mommy's drooling over something she doesn't really need. I wonder if the need to shop is a genetic trait. Time will tell I guess.

I'm feeling a good bit calmer today, I managed to get some rest this weekend--not enough, but when do I ever get enough--and my nerves aren't sitting on the edge of my skin anymore. Eli got some very cute new clothes after a Target spree on Saturday including a robot pullover that is awesome and makes me long for crisp air. Yesterday I got an ethernet cord for a dollar to replace the one my cat chewed through (though according to Jason the cat would NEVER do that! and it must have been Eli) and was delighted to have the use of my internet again.

Here's a few pics of the little monster, he's constantly moving which makes getting good pictures hard which is why I haven't had as many lately.

Eli at the zoo last weekend running running running. My man on the go.

He didn't drink that pepsi but it gives him such joy to carry the bottle around. This is another addition to the collection of strange objects that Eli becomes attached to; why can't he just have a teddy bear like other kids?

Napping like a champ. He woke up super cranky. I gave him teething tablets and tried to bribe him into silence with a dollar. It worked Friday night but had no effect yesterday, someone must have told him our dollar isn't worth much on the world market.

We purchased a twenty dollar ball pit for the young sir. As you can tell from that look on his face he's over the moon about it.

He was in there right up until bedtime last night and got back in first thing this morning. Jason and I are pretty sure it's better than a babysitter.

And this very catchy song is stuck in my head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWmVTbWHgFc&feature=related, I've been humming about Vest Virginia all morning.

Jagged

2008-09-12T11:42:00.003-04:00

I'm going to preface this blog post by explaining that I'm really really tired. First Eli was teething Wed night and then last night I was stricken by the insomnia that I haven't had to deal with for at least two years. I'm working on four hours of sleep and wearing someone elses pants because mine got soaked on the way to work this morning. After my umbrella broke. Also my muffin got ruined by the rain. So the point is that I'm not as coherent as I might be but my opinions stand regardless.

First I'd like everyone to read this so they can get an idea of the bug that has crawled up my ass http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080904/ap_on_el_pr/cvn_fact_check and digest it please. It comes from the Associated Press so it's pretty fucking legit. Then you can peruse this and click on any of the links that you might be interested in to see the evidence backing up the claims http://suzieqq.wordpress.com/2008/09/06/top-10-things-you-should-know-about-sarah-palin/

Next I'd like everyone to think about the fact that Sarah Palin supports abstinence only sex education and has a pregnant 17 year old daughter. The conclusion that we can draw from this is that she doesn't learn from her mistakes. That worries me a bit.

On a more personal note I hate that she named her baby Trig. It makes me think of math class and it makes a coworker of mine think of some STD that I can't spell properly. People who inflict names like that on their children shouldn't be helping run the country. Even if they are self proclaimed "pitbulls". Don't worry America baby Palin will be OK, Suz and I are going to kidnap him, rename him Elliot and raise him to be a bleeding heart liberal of the highest order. Possibly part of my problem is that I can't like a woman who wants to leave her four month old for extended periods of time. Obviously I support working mothers but VP of the USA isn't exactly your normal nine to five job. I mean can she possibly be breastfeeding on the campaign trail?

Now that I've griped a bit I'd like everyone to watch this which makes me so in love with Matt Damon that I may need to change into my third pair of pants for the day before noon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6urw_PWHYk. And if you still have any interest in my rant you can read this http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/Story?id=5782924&page=1 which contains the following passage :

GIBSON: You said recently, in your old church, "Our national leaders are sending U.S. soldiers on a task that is from God." Are we fighting a holy war?
PALIN: You know, I don't know if that was my exact quote.
GIBSON: Exact words.

Oh Charles Gibson now I have to make out with you too!

This certainly the only thing that has my nerves all raw around the edges it's just the thing that keeps popping up on the news. I'm also annoyed at my body 1. for the sleeplessness 2. for the non-period period I just had 3. for not making babies in a swift fashion. And I'm annoyed at myself for being a chronic shopaholic, a situation that escalates as I get less sleep and become a little manic. Just a little, but I can feel myself veering off a bit dangerously. I'm annoyed at my rambling here and the actual verbal rambling that's been happening in real life. Right now this is what's been soothing me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RflSXMh97m4 & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsZRPTLMk9s&feature=related I have bunch of his music on my itunes and I want to crawl up inside his voice and nap. That is if I could fall asleep. Maybe he could just come sit on the edge of my bed and sing to me.

Subliminal Messages from PBS

2008-09-05T14:54:00.002-04:00

Most of you probably know that I religiously sleep with the TV on. Over the years this has lead to some interesting dreams and some pretty messed up nightmares. As a teenager I always slept to Nick-At-Nite since old sitcoms and laugh tracks are conducive to restful sleep and happy dreams. Then when I moved out of my parents house and had no cable and no antenna I'd use movies; more often than naught it'd be Dirty Dancing which is my most favorite lullaby. Now I usually fall asleep to PBS since they don't run the kind of programming that gives a girl with an over active imagination night terrors. Last night they had on some sort of very long show about the history of Stax Records, subconsciously I now know a whole lot about Stax Records. And I've got Otis Redding on perma-play in my head, which is certainly not a bad thing.
If it's ever on when I'm awake I'm going to watch it on purpose and fill in the gaps in my head. I hope tonight they have a show on Spanish for dummies and I wake up fluent so that I can understand my in-laws.

Emily The Grump

2008-09-03T15:25:00.001-04:00

I am cranky. Look at cute babies.

Babies First Sushi

2008-08-29T22:16:00.002-04:00

It would appear that my child is unnaturally attached to silverware. And this evening i knew he'd want chopsticks because i was using them.
He's not very good with them yet, but he likes trying to stab the food with them.

I didn't anticipate him freaking out over eating hotdogs and veggies while i munched on maki. So, I gave him a California roll. There's nothing raw so it was safe.

He liked it OK. Except for the seaweed which is probably an acquired taste.

There needs to be a special place in the baby book for this.

Run, Eli, Run!

2008-08-28T14:26:00.001-04:00

Eli wants to show you how good he is at running.

Work Luncheons

2008-08-28T13:36:00.001-04:00

Do not aid in weight loss. I feel bloated and kind of disgusting but I know I'll eat the same way next time. Because that's what I do. Anyone want to give me a lecture on self control?

Don't Worry About A Thing...

2008-08-27T11:14:00.009-04:00

I've kind of become obsessed with Eli's talking. Or the lack thereof. I fear I may be annoying people with my constant musing as to whether or not Eli's normal verbally, so I'm going to blog about it and then shut my trap. The kid doesn't say much. And the few words he does say: dad, what's this, kittie, dog, Jesus he's been saying for quite some time. No new words here people. I'm kind of desperate to hear what he has to say. I looked up developmental milestones for Eli's age online:

Most toddlers should be able to . . .
Feed self with spoon and fork --check!
Run well --check!
Brush teeth with help --(i should try this)
String more words together to make phrases or puts together pairs of words --nope!

Some toddlers will probably be able to . . .
Know when something is wrong --check!
Say 20 to 50 words--hahahahahaha!
Form recognizable sentences (two or three words)--hilarious!
Take off clothes --check!

Some toddlers could possibly be able to . . .
May show signs of bladder control --nope (not caring too much about that though)
Brush teeth and washes hands without help --(maybe if he could reach the sink)
Draw better circles and straighter lines --uh-uh
Name several part of his or her body --he can point to his nose, mouth, and bum but he's not saying a word.

He's certainly ahead of the game in coordination, he kicks, throws, and swings like a champ. He's great at climbing stairs and is getting better at going down them, in fact he's really great at climbing anything. But the verbal stuff irks me. I'm scared to make his 18 month check up-which is overdue-for fear that the doctor will tell me something is wrong with him. And if something is wrong with him it's probably my fault. Being a mom is worrisome. Anyone contemplating signing up for it should be aware.

In reassuring news Eli is still leaps and bounds ahead of other children in general adorableness.

See that spoon? That's Eli's security spoon, he carries it around and cries when it's taken away. However I don't let him sleep with it because that seems patently unsafe.
Finally submitting to a nap on Saturday afternoon, he sleeps like a man.
A-Dorable right?

On Sunday we went to Highland Park Reservoir with Aunt Suz. This is where part of the city's drinking water is housed. So I'm hoping people take that sign seriously.
We took Eli to the playground, which he found a little overwhelming at first.
The park is all wood and I found it very cool.
In the mouth of the gator! And seemingly unafraid.

Walking the plank.
The bridge was a bit treacherous and he needed some mommy assistance the first go round.
But once he got the hang of it he was quick to leave me.
Afterwards he showed us all what a neat eater he is.
Using his fork. Using it well I'd say.

He's getting very tall, if I'd make his doctor's appointment I'd be able to say just how tall. Also look at his cute new diaper cover. Eli is an excellent model.
With his favorite non-toy toy. He likes to turn the volume up to about 90 when I'm in the kitchen then come running at me with the remote so I'll turn it down.
His another new diaper. I'm in love with this fabric and would like to redo his bedroom in it if I could sew.
Why so worried?
How much do I love his face? More than I love chocolate cake, Grey's Anatomy, clean cotton sheets, grass under my feet, sushi, the smell of books, Target, cloth diapers, Counting Crows, puppies, Dirty Dancing and Mr. Witcher put together.

Back To Normal

2008-08-21T15:27:00.002-04:00

My stress level according to the all mighty stress ruler is normal again. We have a doggie psychologist coming over to analyze Addie's behavior in the home tonight and hopefully we'll get some good feedback. Like "When you touch her behind her right ear with your pinkie finger 3 times she will turn into a calm normal dog". That's the kind of advice I'm looking for. I've also made up fliers with a bio of Adelaide where I tried to strike the fine balance of telling the truth about all of her issues and letting people know what a lovable dog she is. Not sure where I'll post these yet, I'm tending to be particular about where she ends up.

There's not a whole lot else going on. Eli, when asked where his nose is, puts his finger right in his nostril. It's very cute and very gross like many things babies do.

A co-worker introduced me to the mystery of the Montauk Monster. I don't want to talk or think about it ever again! But if you're curious please wiki it. And then don't talk to me about it.

Stress

2008-08-19T15:27:00.003-04:00

Normally I like to think of myself as a very relaxed person. I am not prone to getting all worked up over little things. This weekend however led to a very frazzled Emily.

First I got a haircut. To some people this might not be a big deal because it is after all ONLY HAIR and it GROWS BACK. But I love my hair, even when it doesn't look so great I love it and I like to kind of hide behind it and resist any changes to it. Once in 9th grade I got a very short cut that made me loathe to leave the house for over a week and that was my last really short cut. Until now.

And I didn't want or ask for it to be this short. Below see a picture of me right after leaving the salon and below that the picture of what I'm OK with doing to it until the shortest layer (which falls right above my ears and mushrooms out in a ring around my head) gets a little longer.

See how happy I am with my new cut?

The second problem really does make all my angst over JUST HAIR that will GROW BACK seem pretty silly.

On Sunday Adelaide bit Eli. On the face. He's OK, there's barely a mark now, but I don't feel safe keeping her around him as she's been very growly and has snapped at him before. In my opinion she's just at the end of her fragile, anxious little rope. With all of the abuse she endured before she came to us our chaotic house is just too much for her. So I'm very sad and trying to re home her. Addie's ideal home would be with a single woman. And I'm specifying NO young children. I'd never be able to live with myself if she went to a new home a hurt someone else's kid.
Poor Lady Adelaide of Bloomfield just needs a good quiet home so she can have a happy life.

In more cheerful news I am doing an excellent job of staying hydrated which I've been told is good for me in a myriad of ways. Eli is adorable (aside from his usual meltdowns) and has really started to love playing with other kids. He's not just playing near them he's actually interacting with them which is an exciting and interesting developmental milestone.

And it's my birthday week! I'll be 27! I'm going to be delighted at my age instead of thinking of it and the subsequent birthdays as an inevitable slide into middle age. At 27 I'm just where I thought I'd be, married (for over a week now! go me! it'll be easy now since the first week's the toughest) and the mother of the cutest kid in town.

Wedding Recap

2008-08-14T09:15:00.015-04:00

I had another blogging gap again. And the result is that this post may have the most pictures of any post ever.

We got married last Friday, as planned, well kind of as planned. Friday morning I called down the JOP as I was instructed and was told that I had to call an hour before I actually wanted to come down and be married to see if it could be done that day. This was at 8 am the day of my wedding. So I freaked out for a minute and started furiously texting people (as I am wont to do in times of turmoil) and Jen came to the rescue. Since the mayor of McKeesport wants to have sex with her he agreed to marry us at two o'clock at the marina in McKeesport. I immediately felt so much better about my day knowing that my plans were concrete.

Legs were shaved, hair was washed and straightened, lots of deodorant and lotion was applied. I even put on mascara and eyeliner, gotta look fancy on your special day after all. Jen, our official wedding planner and photographer came at noon so that we could start our litany of pre-ceremony activities. First on the list was picking up our license at the City/County building; I enjoyed when the lady asked me when we were planning on getting married and I was all "today". It reminded me of being in Eat'N'Park heavily pregnant on Tuesday and having the waitress ask when I was due and getting to tell her Sunday, she looked frightened like I might go into labor right there creating a mess and tying up her station. Table turnover is very important when you live on tips. Anyway back to the wedding we then went to Mt. Washington to take pictures (none of which I have to share yet). I don't have the highest hopes for that set as Jason kept squinting into the sun and Jen was accusing him of purposely trying to look like a pirate in his wedding photos. On the way through from the city to McKeesport the bride insisted on stopping at Wendy's for a plain chicken sandwich; because you know what's not sexy? Stomach rumbling during your I Do's. Our last picture stop before the wedding was at this fantabulous rose garden that I didn't even know existed. Really hoping those pictures are good given how lovely the background was.

My mom had already made it to the marina by the time we got there, she didn't get lost at all which I consider to be my own little wedding day miracle. That and the way we kept missing the rain all day so that we got pictures and took our vows under sunny skies. Here's my wedding in pictures. These are the ones from my camera, I'll share the ones from Jen when she gets them to me.
Jason on the way to the marina, shirt untucked. It was a fight getting him to tuck it in! He wanted to bring a "Miami feel" to the wedding. I did not.
Jen and her boobs speeding along.

My guys before the vows. Jason squinting of course.
The Witchers!
Saying our vows with Mayor Brewster
He's squinty but trust me he was very happy
I was pretty happy too

Putting on his ring, which is made of steel and according to Marty looks like the Lord of the Rings ring.
Husband and wife!
Our first kiss as man and wife. I should mention that weddings make me sappy, especially this one.

Marty and I looking familial and happy.

Showing off my twenty dollar dress and my forty dollar bouquet.
Coolest ladies in Pittsburgh.
Our photographer Boobs McGee.
I was trying to cover them with my flowers but she preferred to have them hanging out.

Dencey and I. She was angelic throughout the ceremony and the dinner. I may swap Eli for her when her parents aren't looking.
The girls and me. I was pinching Michelle to make her smile but clearly it didn't work. Also I'd just stolen her sunglasses and she was mad.
Amy and Dencey being cute.
Eli was excited 1. Because mommy and daddy are no longer living in sin

2. Because of his amazing paisley shorts
Trying to cover up her cleavage again.

How I saw Jen for most of the day.
My mommy and me.
Jason and I contemplating what we'd just done.
Suzanne saves my bouquet from my over zealous throw.
Stylish ladies hanging at the marina.

Our miniature wedding cake from Paddy Cake Bakery. It was chocolate inside and delicious, they did a great job.
We were a bit tired of posing at this point. I may have an inkling of how Eli feels most days now.
He makes that face every time he eats cake.
We decided not to smoosh cake in each others faces. Because we're dignified.

Beautiful baby Eli.
Good looking cousins. They're the best of friends now. We had Eli at the end of the table with us and he cried til we moved him with his cousin. He gives her all his food and toys. Very cute.
Waiting on food and the other guests at the Church Brew Works
Doing some posing of her own.
I don't know what my camera was doing here, but it kind of makes him look like the kid from the grudge. Spooky.

After dinner we went to the hotel room that Josh and Amy booked for us in the Southside. It was an awesome room with a whirlpool tub and a KING SIZED BED, we love a big bed. Amy and Suz had snuck in before dinner and decked the room out with champagne and strawberries, flowers, candles and his and hers rubber duckies in the tub. It was the best surprise and we had a very nice time honeymooning. At least for the six hours before we went to the bar with my friends.

Everyone thought that since we were already in the Southside and only 4 blocks from Dee's that we kind of had to go to the bar. And I listened to them...

Here's drunk Jen with "the sailor" if you want to know about "the sailor" you'll have to specially request this knowledge.
Jen's all "don't tell people things jerk!"
Adrienne being undrunk.
Jason showing me what he does with his buddies after work.

We're married! And I'm drunk! And once I get back to the hotel room I'll spend the rest of the night throwing up! Wait, that last sentence didn't need an exclamation point. It needed whatever is the opposite of the exclamation point.

That's all the wedding news. In the other important news, Eli news, we now have a utensil using bubba. He insists on having a fork at every meal and is getting pretty OK at using it:

It's adorable watching him try. We've also been diligently trying to teach him body parts; he's getting it slowly but surely. He can tell you where my belly is (lifting up my shirt to show off my flub) and my nose. He know's his belly and if you ask him if his but needs changed he'll start inspecting his diaper. He had a great time at Aunt Amy and Uncle Josh's Friday night and played with his cousin non-stop. He also loves playing with the little boy across the street and following around the six year old who lives next door. I'm contemplating adopting a two year old so that he has a full time playmate.

When he doesn't have a playmate, or gets told no, or can't reach something, or just can't get across to me what he wants it looks like this:

Which while still kind of cute is zero fun.

In fun Emily news the girl across the street and I have begun a bookswap and she had a ton of celebrity bios which means that I'm now reading Mommie Dearest!

Things I'd Rather Be "On" Whilst Menstruating

2008-08-06T14:57:00.001-04:00

1. A tropic isle
2. A million dollar shopping spree
3. Drugs

Run Down

2008-08-05T12:57:00.003-04:00

I haven't blogged in what for me is a very long time. It's not that I haven't had anything to say it's just that I've been busy and over tired and cranky. Those are not the best conditions in which to be writing. My main preoccupation as of late are the upcoming nuptials. Jason and I are set to get married on Friday. As in three days from now. It's just a courthouse ceremony which you'd think would be pretty simple but I'm running into snags and annoyances at every turn.

Yesterday we went to get our license, which went incredibly smoothly--I swear the lady didn't even glance at our I.D.'s--and made me feel optimistic, then I asked the woman about scheduling an appointment for Friday. Ms. Laura Ashley dress from 1981 told me that no one downtown performs marriage ceremonies and that my local magistrate would have to do it. And I was all "OK...that seems strange...but OK". Went to the local magistrates office, the very nice girl told me that they're closed on Friday, cue moment of internal panic. "Why don't you just go downtown?" she asks. Why indeed? Apparently the other lady lied to me! I can't seem to fathom her logic behind it but whatever. So I call the number I'm given at the local office the lady there says they don't make appointments and that I should call the day of. Today I decided to call and investigate into that a bit further. Apparently not all judges perform weddings and they won't know til the morning of if the judge who'll be there on Friday will be able to do the ceremony. This was fifteen minutes ago. I'm genuinely panicking now. I decided maybe blogging would calm me down.

As far as other wedding details go things are running OK (we'll just pretend for a moment that the actual legal ceremony is of little consequence) I have my twenty dollar dress and five dollar shoes from Target, Jason got new pants and shoes, Jen is going to take photos around Pittsburgh before the actual ceremony. My mom is supposed to pay for the dinner after for about a dozen people and my sister in-law booked us a hotel room to honeymoon in while she keeps the young sir overnight. All very good and exciting. And Jason seems excited himself and is being perfectly agreeable to all suggestions. If I could just lock down an appointment with an officiant I'd be able to relax.

I'm putting up pictures from Dencey's b-day party two weeks ago. The last pictures taken on my camera I might add, I've been lax in that as well.
Eli wore my new favorite shirt of his from Baby Gap. He looked charming.
He had a very very good time in the bouncy castle.

Dencey celebrated one year on the planet by eating cupcake with daddy.
Eli thought this watermelon most closely resembled a ball.
Both kids thought the drink coolers were fabulous toys.
Then Eli began organizing.
See? He likes the cans out of the cooler better.

We went to my work picnic on Friday and took Dencey with us. I had the best of intentions of getting a lot of very cute pictures of my two favorite very cute kids. Then we got there. And it was miserably humidly hot and Eli lost his shit. I've never seen him act up like that, he was miserable and wanted everyone to know it. So my camera stayed in my bag and we left very early. Of course he was fine the second he got back into the car, I think he just loathes the heat like his mama does.

Saturday Eli turned a year and a half and I feel a little shitty that I didn't take at least one pic. He was sweet on Saturday and might even have smiled for the camera. The proliferation's of pictures on Friday should more than make up for it. It's hard to believe that he's 18 months already; definitely not a bit of an infant anymore.

Right now Eli seems to have a little bit of a bug so that's been worrying and adding to my tiredness as he hasn't been sleeping well at night. I'm just not used to get up every couple of hours anymore. We tried putting him in bed with us but no one was happy about that; he likes his own space and honestly we like ours too. I've got my fingers crossed that I go home to a baby completely on the mend today.

Sunday night we went to see the new Batman movie and it was amazing! By far my favorite Batman ever and the best of the three movies I've been to see this past month (I was on a streak-Mamma Mia, the new X-Files, and The Dark Knight). We were supposed to get our wedding bands that night too but the place we thought would have them didn't so that's still on our agenda as well.

I think that catches up the world of me. Hopefully I'll be blogging from home next week as Jason's wife. Anyone want to get ordained online real quick and perform the ceremony?

Hot Fun in the Summertime

2008-07-25T11:41:00.004-04:00

It's actually cooled down just enough that it's pleasant to be outside again, so Eli and I have not spent every evening this week huddling in the living room with the air set on 69 degrees. The young sir loves to be outside, so much so that when i pick him up to take him in he has a full body tantrum. I don't even know that I'd be capable of twisting about and flailing as he does, but isn't it true that their bones are still a little rubbery? My bones have no rubber left. Sad stuff. Wednesday night we hung out with neighborhood kids and mom's in the backyard and it was very fun, I enjoy belonging to the mom club.
While the other kids were running back and forth from one kiddie pool to another Eli decided he was too good to get wet. So he practiced his soccer skills.
And swept the pavement with the neighbor's broom. You can't keep the kid away from cleaning implements. He did eventually get in the water and it was hilarious to see his little diaper sagging off his bum afterward. If it weren't for his dipes Eli would never keep his pants up.
Eli is still very into being read to.
And sometimes he reads by himself. Upside down.

Recently I've been giving Eli dessert after dinner. I mostly do this because it keeps him in his high chair a bit longer so I can actually finish my dinner. Usually it's fruit but sometimes I give him empty ice cream cones:
He hasn't a clue that something should be in there. And I love that about him.

Eli is often mesmerized by the spinning of the wheel on Wheel of Fortune. And no he doesn't always stand that close to the tv.
Eli loves boxes. From now on any packages I get he gets the box.

All of my diapers from the spree have arrived, I think these are my two favorite. They're from Berry Imperfect Designs like the monkey pirate one.
Snails!
As you can tell Eli also loves it.
And I refer to this as his Guns'N'Roses Diaper. Very fetching.

Five Places Where I Wouldn't Last Five Minutes

2008-07-23T11:18:00.002-04:00

1. Prison
2. A nunnery
3. The military
4. A slaughter house
5. Cheer camp

1 or 2 Things Eli Knows For Sure

2008-07-22T14:02:00.001-04:00

1. Dancing is fun.
2. Voldemort is scary.

dream prize

2008-07-22T14:01:00.001-04:00

I want to win this! Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)

Summer in the City

2008-07-18T13:48:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I spent a good portion of my work time calling our home bound elderly consumers to let them know what to do in the extreme heat Pittsburgh's experiencing the next few days. This needed to be done because it's fucking hot here. It's hot as balls, hell, hades, can be, the sun, etc... Pick a cliche, apply it. It's sure to be true. Last night I wore a skirt to the Farmer's Market because all my Capri's were dirty and I couldn't stand the thought of emerging from the air conditioned tomb of my house wearing long pants. Tuesday night when the heat wave began in earnest I went to Rite Aid, bought shaving supplies and used them immediately upon returning home. This meant that Eli got to amuse himself by putting things in the toilet; it was worth it to wear Capri's without looking like a yeti. Besides he only put objects that were too big to flush inside the bowl, he's a very considerate little guy.

Eli got a new diaper from Berry Imperfect designs, whom we'd never tried before. We love it and have ordered two more. It's very cute, patterned with pirate monkeys, but E wouldn't hold still long enough to get a decent picture. Since he's starting to outgrow his mediums, after 10+ months of use, I've been on a diaper buying jag. Like most of my shopping jags it's gotten a wee bit out of control. But don't fret Internet the very real fact of my brokeness has stopped me in my tracks as of this afternoon. I've been trying to buy some one size diapers; that way if my period decides to do as I say and go the fuck away so that a tiny life may begin growing inside me I'll have diapers for the prospective newborn to wear. So, hey body! stop being a jerk--love and kisses Emily.

Thanks to the proximity of the weekly Farmer's Market and the high cost of meat Eli and I (and occasionally Aunt Zanne) have been eating a very veggie rich diet. It's delicious and I'm walking away from dinner feeling healthy. Usually I walk away from dinner feeling like I may hurl because I ate so much more than necessary. Viva La fresh food!

Here are a few pics of the boy, just in case anyone wanted to see some.
Eli in the bath after eating my squash laced fresh spaghetti sauce, as you might be able to see he got it right up his nose.
I gave him the empty thin mint box to play with. He doesn't know it's empty at this point and is waiting for me to swoop in and snatch away his forbidden treat.
I think he was in mid sentence here. He gets very emphatic when talking baby talk.
Oh, how does Eli love swatting flies. He inherited my blood lust for extinguishing the world of insects.
The love of cleaning must have come from someone else. Still I hope it holds over to when he can actually lend a hand with the cleaning.

Illness, Blackouts, and General Disarray

2008-07-15T15:47:00.002-04:00

This weekend did not go as planned. Jason and I were supposed to have a date night Sunday night and then get our marriage license for ye olde courthouse wedding on Monday morning. Unfortunately the little Sir woke up from his nap with a nasty fever and much nastier throwing up on Sunday before he was supposed to go to grandma's house. He was lethargic and pitiful and there was no chance of him being anywhere I wasn't. So, no marriage license at our house. Oh well, we'll get it done someday.

Thankfully Eli's feeling much better. I think the crux of the problem is that he has like a bajillion teeth coming in all at once. I think this because he keeps putting his fingers in his mouth and screaming bloody murder. It's very very sad, babies should not have to experience pain or sickness. The fact that they do is further proof that the world is unjust. Eli did manage to have some fun last evening after being numbed by: infant Motrin, teething tablets, a Popsicle (a rare indulgence) and a cold wash cloth to chew on. He invented two new games; the first of which involved putting all of his animal crackers from their tub into a paper bag and then back again. He did them one by one and was very focused. The kids loves to organize, we may have a Mark Sommers on our hands. The second game was a modified sort of croquet with the flyswatter and his softie ball. To me it seemed a lot more fun than animal cracker storage but who am I to judge.
Eli Saturday morning pre sickness.
Eli yesterday afternoon getting the very last cracker out of the bag.

Then last night around 11 our power went out. Half of my neighborhood was blacked out. You may not know this but I'm absolutely terrified of the dark, I used my cell phone as a flashlight and stumbled outside where a lot of my neighbors were also stumbling around. Thankfully someone lent me a lighter since I literally had 100 tea lights and nothing to light them with. I decided the only way to cope til Jason got home from work was to make it light enough to read. So I lit 32 candles in my living room.

Pretty huh?

Of course the lights came on about fifteen minutes after Jason got home. He said it's because the power company knew he wanted to play his PlayStation. I hope you can feel me rolling my eyes as I typed that.

3 Days of Fun

2008-07-07T14:49:00.006-04:00

Delightfully Jason and I were both off Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the long 4th weekend. On Friday Jason slept late and Eli and I got up and experimented with the new camera which is very very similar to the old camera.
Eli thought the old camera looked tasty and decided to chew on it a little. I'm not letting him chew on the new one, I can't spare another $200 any time soon.

That night we went to my mom's house for the annual 4th BBQ and backyard firework's extravaganza. My little brother was in town for the weekend (yea!) and he was having fun chasing Eli around. Last time he saw him he was walking but not running and not baby babbling nearly as much. Personally the thought of not seeing Eli every single day makes me very sad, of course our situations are a bit different. We ate a lot of non healthy American patriotic type food and Eli enjoyed all the new toys grandma had bought to keep at her house.

Eli used Uncle Marty's nifty hat to entertain the hippies in attendance and was very brave while daddy and the boys were setting of the little fireworks. They were pretty loud but he didn't cry, he just sat on my lap in his fancy rocket ship pajamas and watched everything with big eyes.
One of the cool things Grandma Ros bought was this purple sand, baby Truman looks good against a purple backdrop. We got home late and Eli fell asleep in the car seat, he didn't wake up when we got home and went straight into the crib. Of course the cat jumped in his crib and woke him up at 5:30 am. She's luckily I didn't declaw her right then.

Saturday night Jason and I went to a party sans Eli. We never go out like that together and it was very nice, we drank alcohol and went swimming and I marveled at the drunkenness of his friends. I've been a mom for so long I'd forgotten anyone could or would drink that much. We got home very very late even though we knew that an early morning was waiting for us.
Jason didn't greet the morning with much cheer as he'd eaten 4 platefuls of curried goat the night before. Combined with all the beer, lack of sleep and a two hour car ride to my family reunion in Maryland misery took over.
Since Eli hadn't eaten any goat he felt fine. He spent a good 30 minutes of the ride having a conversation with someone.

At the reunion Eli fell in love with this little girl who we're somehow related to, she's my 3rd or 4th cousin, maybe? He would have followed her to the ends of the earth, or at least up the slide, he climbed right up it like a little monkey. I was duly impressed.
The immediate fam! Neither baby was happy about standing still for this picture. I tried explaining to people that if you want a good picture of Eli it's going to have to be an action shot. Boy just don't hold still anymore!
Marty had a good time on the playground as well, I know it doesn't look like it but he really has put on weight since he moved to Charlotte. He looks a lot healthier than he did before.
This is me with my Great Aunt Helen, she's 4'9 which means I'm over a foot taller than her. As you can probably tell, I look like Godzilla. My grandma is about an inch or two taller than Aunt Helen so I tower over her as well, and have since I was about eleven.

I guess Eli was still pretty tired from the busy fun filled afternoon because when I went home on lunch break I found this:
Jason said he was playing and just laid down and passed out. Poor little man.

17 Months

2008-07-01T12:48:00.004-04:00

Hey Eli did you know you'll be 17 months old tomorrow? That means you're a month away from being a year and half. Never has time gone faster. Just yesterday you were in my belly slipping an embryonic foot betwixt my ribs and pulling until something popped. Now you look like this:
Where'd this toddler come from? People have been asking me about potty training a lot and my first reaction is "Are you crazy? He's a BABY! You can't potty train a baby." Then I realize that you are getting to that age and I'm terrified (what if I screw it up and spend the next 18 years washing your sheets every morning) and sad that you're such a big boy. Also, last night at the restaurant you decided to feed yourself with the spoon. And you did a pretty OK job; sure you turned the spoon upside sown at the last minute almost every time but you get the basic idea. You'll be fully self sufficient in the blink of an eye.
You're getting cuddly again. It's extra sweet now because when you crawl up next to me on the couch I know you really want to be there. Certainly if you didn't want me to hug you there would be shrieks of terror and horrified wiggling to the floor. When you get scared or hurt you come running at me full force and I love that you think mommy can fix anything.
You're really into reading now, which I'm thrilled about, hopefully it will lead to you talking a bit more. When you want me to read you a book you throw it right at my head since subtlety isn't yet your strong suite. In case you're wondering your favorite book seems to be the Teddy Bear Counting Book (One teddy bear all alone, two teddy bears on the phone, three teddy bears all in blue...) I have it memorized and don't even look at the pages anymore. Also for whatever reason the hexagon is your favorite shape, maybe it's because of the bees on the page but you go ballistic and squeal and hit the book with your hand. It could not be more endearing, Sir.
Some woman heard me call you sir last night in the restaurant bathroom while I was desaucing you and remarked from her stall "Did you just call him Sir? Well, I've never heard that one before." She said it in a very pithy tone. Clearly she has no imagination and her kids are called princess and buddy. Eli you are very lucky that woman is not your mama.

Almost As Good As Going To Tiffany's

2008-06-28T22:24:00.002-04:00

Have I ever told you how much I love grocery shopping? All the choices, all the delicious food. I think I get off on it a little. Plus I really like buying snacks for Eli, there's so much he can eat now. Expanding his horizons delights me to no end.

I miss my camera. Monday can't come soon enough.

I've had kind of a craptastic couple of days emotionally and am ready for a fresh new week. Let's all try not to screw this one up shall we?

My desire to write something besides this blog is slowly returning. I'm mostly crediting this to Eli's steady sleeping through the night; my brain is rested enough to churn out a few non-baby related thoughts. Just a few though, Sir still consumes 98% of my brain. Being creative with the other 2% appeals to me.

Eli is turning into a really stellar little soccer player, he dribbles like a pro and since he likes to use his hands a lot I think he may be a goalie. Jason says it's his Latin blood. It very well may be but I'd like to find one person who thinks Eli looks Latin. Imagine if I'd let Jason name him Diego?

Expect about a gazillion pictures next week.

Mail = Joy

2008-06-23T15:02:00.002-04:00

The mail brought me my band aids! Hurrah! Sadly there will be no in-action shots of the enchanted unicorn band aids until new camera is bought.

I also got this book from amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Hell-Hath-Fury-Anna-Holmes/dp/1861056885/ref=pd_bbs_sr_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214247840&sr=8-7. Literary bitterness, lovely. I've been reading the entire Tudor series by Phillipa Gregory and am Tudor'd out! I'm watching the film version of The Other Boleyn Girl when it comes from netflix but then that's it for awhile. Let me reclaim the modern world, eh?

Post-Weekend

2008-06-23T12:20:00.002-04:00

The big news is that my camera met a swift painful death at the hands of my hardwood floor yesterday. I'm going to buy the newer version of my old camera with my bonus next week, it has some pretty good features including this: Smile Shutter ModeSmile Shutter (TM) technology captures smiles the moment they happen - without the need to press the shutter. The mode can be set to capture when your subject laughs, smiles or even grins, and like Face Detection is able to differentiate children and adults to set priority. When I told Jason about this feature he told me he'd believe it when he saw it, ah my skeptical man. He also said I may as well just get one that vibrates as excited as I am about it. It would be convenient; nothing better than an all-in-one electronic.

In other weekend news Eli had his first shot at making a masterpiece Sunday morning when we tried finger paint, he was not that into it. We did get one picture to put on the fridge though. And afterwards he went right into the pool. The pool that has to be inflated in my kitchen due to a complete lack of outside outlets. A blue plastic whale is always welcome in the kitchen.

We had dinner at my brother and sister-in-law's last evening and Josh and I discussed how much we hate other people's parenting. We have kids now and feel superior, teehee, like ten years ago we weren't smoking weed in the basement and spray painting the walls. Amazing how having a kid changes your views on things.

Wasabi Peas

2008-06-19T15:13:00.003-04:00

I will eat wasabi peas forever. Between those and the 2.7lb bag of gummies Heather left in an unlocked drawer I don't know that I'll be capable of walking home today.

Actual Photo Update

2008-06-17T15:50:00.001-04:00

Actual photos of the bacon band-aid in action. Good stuff. If only it was scented.

Watching the Days Go By

2008-06-17T13:36:00.002-04:00

Did you know that I love everything about being a mom? I love all the mom duties; cutting up meat into tiny pieces, forcing clothes over wiggly heads, using extra bubbles to get spaghetti stains off his cheeks during bath time. I especially love tucking him into his bed, reading him his board books after he's chucked them at my head and comforting him when he's scared. I don't mind washing diapers (though the bigger he gets the stinkier they get) or finding cheerios literally everywhere.

I'm good with the mom stuff. It's the housewife stuff that irks me. Making dinner is fine, but cleaning up after it annoys the hell out of me. And I love the dog but am so tired of sweeping her fur off the hardwood I'm ready to shave her bald. I do the diaper laundry with gusto but my clothes end up sitting in the laundry room wrinkling away in the basket. I have to literally bribe myself to get any cleaning done in the evenings; my reward tends to be of the cake variety which means that I'm not just a housewife I'm a slightly over weight housewife. Possibly it's my lady visitor that's making me feel so Talking Heads about this today. Or the fact that I quite vehemently didn't want my lady visitor to come as that means no baby on the way this month. So I'm glum and will stop babbling and give you cute pictures.

This is Eli's favorite way to nap. Adelaide barely tolerates it, but is smart enough to know that if he's sleeping at least he isn't pulling any of her extremities or trying to get her to chase him.

Eli all snuggled up in his crib. His Aunt Rhonda made him the blanket before he was born and he sleeps with it every night. I hope he takes it to college with him.

This weekend he was sweeping naked. It was freaking adorable, but I'm loathe to put his booty up on the Arpa-Net for all to see so here's a fuzzy cropped picture of the event.

Eli's got mommy's cell phone! And he couldn't be happier about it. That's my new unbroken cell phone which I really shouldn't let him play with.

In other happy news my co-worker gave me this: http://yque.com/bababaaisi.html to cover my non-discrete tattoo (the only non-discrete tattoo in the agency according to the new guidelines) and I ordered a box to keep in my desk as well as these ones: http://yque.com/unfaanbabaai.html magical, no? I am one sexy lady.

Things I Like

2008-06-11T14:43:00.002-04:00

1. Pockets. I love pockets on shirts and skirts and pants and purses and aprons. Yup pockets.
2. Almost Famous. I looked it up on IMDB and was reading the trivia, now I really want to watch it again. Tonight will probably find me tucked up on the couch with the air conditioner blasting watching Untitled.
3. Gossip. Any sort celebrity or real people.

That's all I can think of. Because I'm terribly boring and blah today despite how nice I feel I look in my new blue shirt that matches my fab blue shoes.

Threats...

2008-06-10T15:55:00.002-04:00

They work! I'll be writing angry open letters anytime I need a situation resolved from now on.

Also, my uterus apparently tips the wrong way. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. At least it's still in there. Jason thought they might have ripped it out.

Dear Post Office

2008-06-09T13:25:00.003-04:00

Isn't it illegal to withold someone's mail? What does "we only deliver stimulus checks on Monday and Saturday" mean anyway? Post Office I hate you. You're ruining my life.

With Spite & Distaste,

Emily

Ok, now that that's done with let's talk about the weekend. Eli got a lot of fun stuff. On Friday he got a big shipment of wooden puzzles from Ebay.

One of the puzzles had a wooden apple which Eli thought was very fun to carry around in his mouth.
Even though it clearly lacked in taste.
On Saturday Aunt Suz subsidized a kiddie pool for Eli. We decided on this sporty whale that blows water from it's blowhole. Well it blows water from it's blowhole if your hose has water pressure which ours doesn't. We're going to try to fix that next weekend.
Eli in his whale trunks. He does like to match. I got him in the pool as quickly as possible since it was over 90 degrees and I dislike the idea of my baby burning up from the inside out.
Black and white Eli waiting for the pool to fill up. He though the hose was amazing. If it wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen to my living room I'd give it to him for distraction while I'm making dinner.

Did I mention how sweet it is to snuggle a little guy who smells like sunscreen? I'd forgotten how much I love that scent. I wish it could be my signature perfume. That and sauerkraut. MMMMM sauerkraut, sweet-sour elixir of the Germanic Gods.

I Forgot...

2008-06-06T13:50:00.002-04:00

That it's two years ago today that I found out I was pregnant with Eli. I'll always remember the day because it was 6/06/06 and my little brother was sure he'd be the demon spawn and everyone told me it was probably a bad idea to see the new version of The Omen that was being released that day. For me this is two whole years of being a mom. It's the most important/scary/fun/infuriating/joyful thing I can imagine.

Pool In A Bucket

2008-06-06T11:37:00.002-04:00

This actually has a bit of back story. When I was a kid my bff Steph and I were playing at her house and wanted our barbies to go to the beach, and we wanted it to be realistic. So, we took a sand art heart and emptied it into a Tupperware bowl...voila beach in a bowl! A few years later we made pool in a bucket in my front yard, we could each get one foot in, it was very fun. Last night given the almost 90% humidity I though a pool in a bucket would be a good option for keeping Eli cooled off until we get him his kiddie pool. He had a fine time.
Playing with the next door neighbor's Golden Retriever puppy.
Splashing around.
Pouring the whole thing out on himself.
But don't worry he knew where to go to get more water.
Chasing the water across the pavement.

We went out again after dinner but stayed dry this time. Two other little ones who live close by came and played for half an hour or so and it was cute to watch Eli share his toys. I like the idea of lots of kids coming to play at our house because that's how it always was when i was growing up. My mom always had at least one who wasn't hers over for dinner; she even used to encourage my friends to write grocery lists of what they'd like to eat at the house. I don't how my parents afforded it but they did and we were never wanting for playmates.

One more little thing, Jason working nights really sucks. I am desperate for adult companionship in the evenings. I talk to the dog way way more than I should.

Almost Cousins

2008-06-02T14:20:00.002-04:00

Eli and I had visitors Friday night, my bff from way back in the early nineties and her little ones.

Eli & his Aunt Stephie at breakfast Saturday morning.
His almost cousin Summer, who will be three whole years old in August but may be taller than most five year olds. That's what happens when your dad is of Shrek proportions.
Baby Adam! Next cutest baby boy to Eli.
Eli shows Summer how much fun it is to stand on the back of the couch and look out the window.
Adelaide just took up as little space as possible and hoped to be ignored.

Do You Remember The Time

2008-05-30T12:25:00.002-04:00

Dear Stephie,

You're not going to be here long enough for us to properly reminisce so I thought I'd cover a few of the basics on here. I'm going to do it in our traditional Michael Jacksonesqe format:

Do you remember the time I got homesick at the apartment and didn't know how to tell your dad to get to my house even though it was only like four blocks away. I'm happy to say my sense of direction has improved since then.

Do you remember how we used to play barbies for hours, and how complicated our plots were? Menendez barbie, drug rehab barbie, that game we always played where one of the girls started out living in the trailer? Possibly our barbies had more sex than any other barbies in the history of the world; what naughty little girls we were?

Do you remember being Missy Mondew? Sitting at the card table making crank calls with the rotary phone? We used to write numbers on the wood beam under the phone, so respectful of our environment.

Do you remember the night we invented our band Puberty Blues and you wrote our hit song This Is Me But Look At You? The greatness of that song lives on today at many an Australian high school prom.

Do you remember meeting Mike Hash on the hill behind Hills and smoking weed in the bushes? That was one horrible mustache that boy had.

Do you remember when I was so depressed and you were the only one who could make me laugh?

Do you remember the time I came to your house to beat you up and ended up spending the night instead? And we gave Jamie whiplash and then watched a crap ton of Bennie Hill.

Do you remember how I kept breaking Dave Nicely's car? He was super pissed. Ass.

Do you remember my backless patchwork shirt? I really miss that shirt, it was a good one.

Do you remember June and us running frantically across the boardwalk when we had quite enough time to walk?

Do you remember lounging on the trampoline in your backyard? And the time you tried to give me a strawberry flop and your feet landed in my crotch? Don't worry the trauma didn't affect my ability to bear children.

Do you remember when you moved to Vegas and we cried like little bitches? I'm still mad at your mom for making you leave.

Do you remember living in the suites? Our pink palace, "here's the living room/kitchen/dining room/den/reading room/bar". We had more fun in the place than any resident before or since.

Do you remember when Mike slept through your first date and I was all like "this guy sucks!"? You might have wanted to listen to me my beautiful, darling girl.

Do you remember our lists of why it was OK to wake each other up? Winnings over $500, Tom Hanks/Colin Farrell showing up to have sex with us, the desire to shop, fire that could not easily be put out with an extinguisher.

Do you remember our Wednesday night Sex and the City/food marathons?

This is the bare bones dear, and I've saved the most important one for last:

Do you remember the time we ate that honey baked ham?

Love you Gagar,

Your one & only band mate Leggle

The Cardiologist and the Future Neuro-Surgeon

2008-05-28T11:04:00.001-04:00

A Long Long Weekend

2008-05-27T12:31:00.005-04:00

Hello Internet! It's been a sad four days without you. I'm really considering ponying up that $80 for a new power cord, I hate not being able to check my email over the weekend, especially on a holiday weekend. I'm going to try to be sensible and check EBay and the Goodwill computer store before I go nuts though. Honestly I am so much better with money than I used to be, when I lived in Vegas I wouldn't even have blinked over $80. Of course when I lived in Vegas I could make $80 in two busy hours of cocktailing. Does anyone know a local Exotic Dancer locale that employs chubby girls with small milk filled breasts? Let me know!

On Friday Eli's Oscar the Grouch puppet came from Etsy, it's adorable!

I'm making a mean voice and telling Eli that I'm a grouch and hate everything.
Eli loves the puppetry. Providence is not so sure what to think so she just hid behind her cousin and continued to snack on toast.

Eli's favorite place to eat breakfast is sitting inside the drink tray on top of the ottoman. It's very cute, but a little dangerous, last weekend he was doing this and it was too close to the edge and flipped over. He was pretty mad at the time but seems to have gotten over it.

We went to my cousin Matt's wedding on in Meyersdale on Saturday. Matt is my twin cousin as all 12 of us were pretty much born in sets of two, Matt and I are only a month and a day apart so by my thinking he got married perfectly on time. It was Eli's first wedding and I had high hopes that he'd show off what an excellent parent I am by being charming, he was only half charming to say the most. I think the crux of the problem is that he didn't nap on the 2 hour car ride there rendering him a cranky mess. We had to hang outside during most of the ceremony, and for part of the reception which we left early. I didn't even get cake, sigh. And of course he slept for the entire ride home. The little booger. He did have a good time being chased by my little second cousins who were amazed by his never ending energy. I had the joy of being told by three people that Eli can face forward in his car seat-I know that technically he CAN, but he's still so small and it's so much safer to be rear facing-unsolicited parenting advice is my least favorite sort of unsolicited advice. I'm going to start telling people that in Sweden children are rear facing up to 55lbs, that should shut them up the Swedes do everything right just look at Ikea. I was also told that it's non sense to hold off giving a kid nuts until their second birthday, that I'm mean to not give him cookies and such, and my parenting was called "new fangled". Oh the joys of family.

One more note on the wedding that's not going to mean much if you don't know my extended family but the bride's side made my side of the family look classy.

Eli on the way to the wedding, not sleeping. (and facing the rear)
Eli being held by great grandma in my Uncle Larry's Delmont, everyone was getting antsy waiting for the bride and groom to exit the church.
Mommy and Eli dressed up in front of my Gram's house in lovely Grantsville.
Eli on the way home completely zonked.

Last night we went to my mom's for bbq.

Eli loves baked beans. After this he went straight into the bath.
Fuzzy black and white Eli, this pics out of order but still cute.
T-Bone is just so photogenic.
Eli snuggling on the couch with Adelaide yesterday morning, he loves that dog and will not leave her be. He's actually fallen asleep on her twice.
The much put upon Lady Adelaide of Bloomfield. Poor shell shocked doggie.

One last note: I am so excited to get my bonus so I can stock up my pantry and freezer like the Rapture is imminent!

The Mad Genius

2008-05-22T09:53:00.002-04:00

Last night Eli displayed not one, but two, new skills. The first being his ability to dance on command like Jennifer Beal doing Maniac in Flashdance, very frenetic and adorable. I'm going to try to get it on video. The second is that he now makes vroom vroom noises while playing with his cars! Who taught him that? Is it some manly instinct? Surely I've said this 100+ times but the kid is a genius!

Of course he's a genius who likes to have mean fit. I've kind of decided that the best course of action is distraction, I'm going to gather an arsenal of pleasing toys to distract him when he starts to go into tantrum mode. I still think it's too early for him to be doing this, an article I was reading today said that it commonly starts around 18 months. Which would make Eli a prodigy in all arenas of life.

In non-Eli news (occasionally I think of other things) I had a fantastic time watching the American Idol finale last night! Highlights included ZZ Top (you know Angela's dad on Bones) performing Sharp Dressed Man with David Cook, Graham Nash singing Teach Your Children Young with that whore Brooke White (the song still choked me up a little), and George-Freaking-Michael! And of course my boyfriend Jason Castro singing Hallelujah, how beautiful is this man!

Now that Idol is over, tear, Suz and I will be watching the British Office on dvd on Tuesdays. After that who knows. There will still be delicious food though, because that's what Tuesday's are all about.

Whip it! Whip it good!
I changed his diaper. And it was tragic.
Look at that stacking!! The talent awes me.
My sweet pudgy guy looking babyish for once.

2008-05-19T12:59:00.002-04:00

Eli has been throwing hissy fits lately. A lot. Just complete losing your shit meltdowns. I'm not sure what the cause is, but I'm theorizing that it has to do with all the new things he's learning to do and not being able to do them perfect just when he wants to. He's making all sorts of new sounds that aren't quite words so maybe he's frustrated that we just aren't getting what he's telling us. Or maybe he's a sociopath and these are the first inklings of what's to come. The worst thing about these fits is that I have no idea how to deal with them. He won't be comforted, in fact it seems to increase his ire when i attempt to sooth him, and he's started to hit at me. Twice this weekend he knocked the glasses off my face while thrashing at me. My other option is to ignore it and then he hits at his toys or the floor or at the dog. And rarely do the tantrums end in under five minutes. The picture below shows Eli in mid tantrum while his cousin was in a charming mood.
See how he's hitting himself in the head? That drives me crazy! His brain is in there.

On a bright note I had a nice weekend, minus an episode of drunken belligerence after indulging in two Malibu pineapples (usually my limit is one), Eli got to hang out with Aunt Michelle and mommy got to go to her favorite sushi place for dinner. Sunday Eli napped, which is a weekend rarity. He fell asleep on the floor clutching his stuffed rottweiler from Auntie Rhonda. it was very adorable but the pictures on my phone, I'll have to email it myself. We had dinner at Grandma Ros' and young sir had his first taste of corn from the cob:

He was impressed. And he got to keep it until he bit the end of the cob off and choked a little.

Then on the way home I bought a DQ ice cream cake. Because my laptop still doesn't work and dammit if I can't use the internet at home at least I can indulge in a tasty treat.

Woe Is Me

2008-05-16T15:39:00.002-04:00

For I am full of woes. Firstly the power cord on my ibook is broken and I can't afford $80 for a new one (isn't that insane? $80?) so I'm currently without a home computer--insert sad face here.

Secondly the weather has been so drizzly and gray, Eli and I are getting stir crazy and I can't get my flowers planted because it'd mean taking him out in the rain.

Thirdly I've just got the grumps. I need cheered up.

Eli's Lucky He's So Cute

2008-05-14T15:37:00.002-04:00

Because this not sleeping thing is getting old.

Son...

2008-05-13T14:48:00.002-04:00

3 AM is not the proper time to drag both mommy and daddy from bed and eat cheerios in the living room. It is also impolite to cling to mommy's leg and scream like a banshee when mommy tries to leave the room; what has daddy ever done to you that was horrible?

Son, when you are fourteen I am going to get you out of bed and alternately scream in your ear/attempt to fall asleep on your face/giggle at the dog at 3 am. Let's just see how you like it.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T22:27:00.002-04:00

Dear Eli,

Sometimes mommy is so busy trying to get through the day that she forgets to appreciate all the little moments that come in between dinner time and bath time and bed time. And sometimes mommy gets frustrated and is not as sweet as she should be. Sometimes mommy wants to get drunk and lock herself in the bathroom when you start having a hissy fit. But she always loves you. I wouldn't be a mom if you weren't around driving me crazy and melting my heart. Someday I'm going to miss those drooly open mouth kisses you're so generous with right now. Don't grow up too fast kid.

Love,

Mom